I'm starting a new streak of living each day as healthily as I possibly can. I started one 37 days ago and though there have been some days when I knew the entire day was not a perfectly healthy day, I'd always made more healthy choices than UNhealthy ones. This weekend I really can't make that claim. It was a birthday weekend that fell on a holiday weekend so excessive dining opportunities abounded. I knew this and had prepared some strategies, but not enough. So what went wrong this weekend?
And what went right?
WRONG - On Saturday I really did want to go to that all-you-can-eat restaurant and Himself is always good for one and it was the day before his birthday anyway and it was going to rain on Sunday so who wants to drive away from Paradise in the rain? But I knew the dessert table was going to tempt me beyond resistance. In fact - I was intending to indulge in some sweet goodness. But I also knew that the desserts, while looking varied, were actually going to taste sort of ... commercial - and maybe even bland and a little metallic - although sweet. I knew that - but conveniently forgot it. I also knew that one slice of carrot cake from an all you can eat buffet would equal 12 points or 600 calories. And I could have remembered that their ice cream is always watery - and Ice Cream is an important food group. So I chose and chose and chose all those high calorie things and durn. None of them really tasted good enough to give me that 'I HAVE BEEN REWARDED AND INDULGED" feeling.
And when that's what you've been wanting - that's what you've been planning for - that's what you actually gave yourself permission to enjoy ... and you don't get it? BAAAAAD NEWS.
And now, feeling deprived and let down, along came Easter Sunday with all it's memories of candy laden baskets (Yes I know - there is a deeper meaning to this day but I am talking about my heathen wild child right brain with memories of chocolate bunnies and unlimited malted milk robin eggs and BLACK JELLYBEANS!!!) And so along came another
WRONG - I didn't purchase enough of the right kinds junk food to make me feel festive!
I had plenty of healthy choices in the kitchen - fruit, whole grain breads, low fat cheese, crispy vegetables. But it was a Holiday and a Birthday. There was no exciting treat candy goodie around. Nothing to feel special and rewarded and 9 years old. I spent a good bit of time indoors on a rainy Sunday afternoon looking for that candytreatgoodyyummy sensation.
And what happens when you are craving something and it's not there. You know, don't you? You wander around eating everything and anything that might slake that sugar-lustful thirst. I gnawed my way through the kitchen eating mostly fruit. But what I wanted was Chocolate Bunny.
(Oh chocolate bunny - come to me)
Now - 2 Russel Stover chocolate bunnies are 600 calories. 60 robin egg malted milk candies would have equaled 600 calories. I can eat a lot of robin eggs but I don't think I could have eaten 60. I think 20 of them would have satisfied my sugar lust. But there was no amount of bananas or oranges that would hit the spot. I know. I tried them both. Lots of them.
Obviously I am going to indulge myself with sweet treats - which is my illusive holy grail. But I owe it to myself to indulge in the treats I really like, the ones that are really good, the ones that will actually satisfy my longing. The second rate sorta stuff - even if the quantity appears to offer me endless options - will always disappoint me and even too much healthy food is too much. If she doesn't get at least a little bit of what she wants, my inner brat will always throw a tantrum in the kitchen.
Ah well. That was then. This is now. And there were RIGHTS, as in:
RIGHT - packed a healthy lunch on Saturday
RIGHT - walked all over creation
RIGHT - took the dog for a second walk on Sunday
RIGHT - did my 11 pushups. (today it is 12)
It wasn't a total wreck of a weekend - but it was not a healthy choice weekend. The best thing I've done so far - the healthiest choice I've made in the aftermath of the debacle is to analyze the situation, figure out what I really wanted and store the wisdom I've gleaned from this thoughtful process for next time. Because next time I will go ahead and have the chocolate bunny and quit looking for it in my empty kitchen. Yes. Next time I will buy More Candy!
Besides, what could be more fun than starting a New Streak on April Fool's Day?