You are not a friend to me.
A friend is supportive, encouraging.
You have manner in which you dictate to me my moods, my feelings of self-worth.
How I start my day depends on what you say to me.
How I feel about myself depends on what you say to me.
I am always judging myself according to what you do, what you say.
If I watched this relationship between two others, I would say that it was unhealty. I would encourage counseling or a split. "Go your separate ways" I would encourage. This relationship is not good for you, nor is it healthy. You deserve so much better.
Why would anyone let themselves be treated this way? This is the question I am asking myself. Why would I (we) give so much power to another? Especially the scale...
I know tomorrow, the scale will not be a friend to me, despite how hard I have worked over the last two weeks. I know because I have an unhealthy relationship with it. I step on it every single morning and sometimes everytime I walk into the bathroom. Regardless, it never seems to move. Did I drink too much water? not enough? Did I eat the wrong things? Was it that little smidge of cake? Did I eat 3 extra carrots? Did I do too much weight training? Is the darn thing defective? Heck, maybe gravity is just really strong in that particular spot in my bathroom. I don't know. The darn thing NEVER EVER moves.
And yet, I would NEVER let another person treat me this way. Push me around. Be the cause of how I feel and how I judge myself. Cause me to question everything I do...
I know that my hard work has paid off. I have seen progress.
I give myself a happy face sticker on the calendar everytime I workout. I have 2 weeks of happy faces smiling back at me . PROGRESS.
I have been eating healthy meals. PROGRESS.
I have been feeling better. PROGRESS.
I was able to ride my bike this weekend without much struggle and get up some pretty big hills too. PROGRESS.
I didn't nap my way through spring break because I was so tired I had too. (I took 2 naps, because I wanted to b/c I was on break). PROGRESS.
My children are making changes. Progress.
I have more energy! I feel great! I see some definition in my muscles! PROGRESS! PROGRESS! PROGRESS!
Wait a minute...
The truth... I know that I am beautifully and wonderfully made, unique, with my own special gifts. And so are each and every one of you.
The scale does not measure our purpose, our possibility, our potential. The scale cannot possibly reflect our ability to love or to be compassionate. The scale cannot measure our beauty (inside and out). It doesn't come close to measuring how we have touched a life. And friends, it is high time we stop letting it!
So, for awhile, that little bugger will be banished from my life. I will measure my progress other ways. I even humbled myself to have hubby dearest take my measurements. To my surprise, they were very much the same as they were in 2010). And, as hard as it will be, I will not step on that scale for at least 2 more weeks. Not when it tells me I should, but when I say I will.