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Real Food Never Tasted So Good!

Sunday, March 31, 2013

I've done it! I survived detox! I woke up this morning dreaming of bacon, grits, and scrambled eggs, but of course that was out of the question. Nonetheless, after four days of detox, the boiled egg, grapes, and strawbery yogurt I had tasted like heaven. My stomach is so happy... that small meal seemed as comfortably filling as the finest cuisine.

I wonder if that was part of Nodens' plan? Either way, things have worked out extremely well, and I'm glad that, for once, I actually stuck with it. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to live in the ladies' room forever more, but it turns out Nodens actually knew what he was talking about.

"You need not sound so surprised."

"What can I say? I have trust issues."

"I gave my word to help you. When I give my word, I keep it."

"I know, but humans' bodies are weaker than those of the Sidhe. I just though--"

"Do you think a god of healing would not know that?"

"Sorry. I keep forgetting. I usually only see your warfare and Wild Hunt aspect."

He sighs. "Very well, let us seek a different approach; please consider that if you did not trust me, you should never have summoned me."

"Good point."


He isn't exactly Mr. Humility, is he? I guess it comes with being a lord of the Sidhe.

Gods... I hope he can't read minds.

Obviously, he either can't, or he doesn't care what I think. "Thus far I am satisfied with your meal plan. What do you plan for dinner?"

"Pita bread pizza and a salad."

"Pizza. I do not think that is acceptable."

"It's healthy, Nodens. I've added all the ingredients to my food-tracker-thingy to make sure it fits within my diet. Take a look for yourself."

"You are not supposed to argue with me. I am growing dangerously tired of repeating that."

Crap. "I'm not arguing, I promise. I'm just sharing information. I can, you know, see how the term pizza might give the wrong idea. If you kook right here at my--"

"Very well. Stop babbling. I see your menu. Acceptable. Enjoy your meal."

"Would you like one too?" I don't even know if he eats pizza, but it seems rude not to offer.

"No, thank you. I must return to the court. Today is Ostra."

"Oh, crap, I forgot that you celebrate the old Pagan holidays."

"I am an old Pagan god. What else should I celebrate?"

"Yeah. Okay. That was a stupid statement on my part. I'll admit it."

He gives me a look that says as clearly as words: "You seem to make a lot of those." I choose to ignore it. Any other response seems unhealthy.

"Well, I'm sure you need to get back to the Unseelie Court for the Spring rites. I'm sorry I kept you so long."

"No apology is needed. I will return tomorrow." He turns to leave.

"Hey, Nodens?"

He walks on a few steps.

"Hey! Nodens!"

"I have already told you," he growls, "that ladies DO NOT shout 'hey.'"

"Right. Sorry. Umm... Excuse me, please, Nodens?"

"Yes, Miss Rose?"

"Blessed Ostra."

"And Happy Easter to you."

And with that he steps out of the mortal realms and disappears into the Otherworld. I Guess even Nodens-Nuatha becomes nicer on holidays... He didn't snarl at me about drinking more water.

Of course, he might have just forgotten. In which case I'm sure he'll make up for it tomorrow.

...Strange, I'm almost looking forward to it. Nodens is strict, but he keeps me in line, and thanks to him I feel like I'm achieving something. That's a good feeling.

And it's certainly worth some annoyance and occasional death-glares, right? I hope so, anyway.
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