Sunday, March 31, 2013
Humility-The embarrassment of not reaching a goal.
Humbleness-The acceptance of a result. Allowing lessons learned from this result to assist you in the next step in your goal setting process.
None of us like to be humiliated, by not achieving the grand goals that we often set for ourselves. Some of us don't even care to face such times as growth opportunities.
I think of the pride with which I graduated high school and college with honors. I think of the great achievement of being hired at a major medical center in a totally different part of the country from where I was raise & how quickly I rose to being a charge nurse. I even think back on the painful fall from the charge nurse position, even though I was planning on giving it up in just a few weeks anyway. I think of the great opportunity that some would say I botched when I did things differently than what was accepted at NIH. I think of my defiance in not wanting to work in nursing homes, for staffing agencies, or even the city hospital. I was above all that. Don't people realize that I have gone too far to stoop so low?
Falling down in these cases didn't hurt me as much as the fact that I kept kicking myself while down. Instead of looking for work that better fit my independent nature where I could advocate and serve those most others would not be willing to serve. I had an attitude that if I can't succeed in this job, let me try something bigger & better, only to fall hard & faster. Time after time. (Although I have not gotten there myself in my healthy lifestyle journey, I am sure I will find many parallels to the work world I had created for myself.)
I seem to be coming to the end of wanting the best jobs, with the best companies. I have often found that such jobs come with a price tag of being brain washed into that organizations way of thinking. In the business world, at least right now, it seems that profit is a higher priority than providing high quality services, pretty much the opposite of the priorities I value.
Recently I interviewed for a nursing position at the city hospital, the one that the local new anchors and newspaper journalist have all said may be closed soon due to the city's financial difficulties. I also found out that they are considering hiring me, not just interviewing me, before the long holiday weekend. (Waiting on some of the people with the rubber stamps to come back from time off related to the holiday.)
This kind of makes me excited. I will be serving those whom cannot afford the care they are getting. I will get to continue to work in a teaching hospital-associated with at least one medical school & 7 nursing schools in the area, not counting all the EMT programs that use the facility as a place to train. I will get to work in a multicultural environment, learning about lifestyles that I couldn't have imagined existed growing up in rural SD. (This part I am actually a little nervous about, as the only language I speak is English and a sizable groups whom only speak Spanish, Arabic, or various African languages, are served by this facility.) I will be be a voice for these people, not only in their care, but also in maintaining funding for this key service to underinsured, underprivileged individuals whom live in our city. Without such care, there is the possibility of increased public health risks to all in the community. (People in poverty are not just going to disappear off the map.)
I think doing some work with the staffing agencies and hospice, working in a couple area nursing homes taught me that there is a need for people with my level of education & dedication to the profession and clients. I can make a difference where I am placed & where I am probably more needed, by not seeking out the fame of great institutions, titles, or wealth. Yes, until I was able to accept the humility from trying too hard; I was blinded to the calm sereneness that I could achieve and provide for others by service where I am placed, as it is not necessary to be fighting with the rest of the world to get to the top.
Leaps of faith are great, but can lead to great falls. Baby steps, make sure that you keep yourself on solid ground, so that you can continue to move forward & upward.
Falling back a couple of these steps doesn't hurt as bad either as falling from a great leap. We tend to recover sooner, learn in quietness what needs to be changed to move forward. We are less likely to face as much ridicule and bring the attention to ourselves, as often happens in the "look at me world" we live in. Instead choosing to make small changes will bring people's attention to the consistent results.) No yo-yo diet. No drastic, miracle weight loss to gain back more than before, just baby steps toward a satisfying life-one that only you can define for yourself, just like your spark goals, meal plans, and exercise routines.
Stay calm and stay determined and you will stay on track & win your reward. Be a turtle, don't be the proud & overly confident rabbit.