Sunday, March 31, 2013
Hello! It has been a long time since I've blogged, mainly because a lot has happened and quite frankly I didn't know where to start.
It all started about a month ago. I ended the 3 year relationship between me and my (now ex) boyfriend. It's a long story that still makes me angry but it all boils down to the fact that playing video games with his friends was more important than spending time with me. It left me feeling like he was basically using me for a free place to live while he tried to figure his life out. Except he wasn't trying to figure his life out. He wasn't working towards a future. He was just stagnant. And he was stagnant while playing video games in every free moment he had. I would have given him the world yet he couldn't give up video games for one night every other week to have a date night with me. Makes me feel kind of worthless, to be honest.
Or at least I did feel that way. One night about a week and a half ago I decided I wasn't gonna sit around feeling sorry for myself anymore. So I signed up on a dating website. I had the normal amount of guys who just wanted to see naked pictures, but then I got a message from this guy. Answering that message was probably the best thing I've done for myself in quite a while! He wanted to know all about me, my hobbies, my work, what I like, what I don't like, what books I like to read. Talking on the website lead to texting which lead to nightly phone calls for a few nights. That lead to us making a date to go out and meet each other. If we clicked so well on the phone and email then certainly we'd click in person right?
Oh god you have no idea how right. That first date was last Friday. We've seen each other 5 more times since then. Even after a 12 hour day at work the first thing this guy wants to do is come over and see me. He kind, considerate, generous, good looking, and he's around me I feel like the most important person in the world. Now I know, I know. After a 3 year relationship maybe I should proceed slowly and cautiously. And that is my intention here. But I'm not gonna let a good thing slip through my fingers simply because I'm scared of a repeat of my last relationship.
This is all leading me to want to be kinder to myself again. I took my anger out on my body. Lots of fast food. Too much coffee to help me perk up after nights of terrible sleep. So my promise this week? I'm going to treat myself the way I expect others to treat me. I made some healthy meals and stuck them in the fridge so I can take them to work. That should help avoid the local pizza and sub places. I'm also going to commit to at least 10 minutes of exercise each day.