Finding My Lost Motivation
Sunday, March 31, 2013
The funny thing is that I set the goal of losing all of this weight for my wedding. The sad part is that thinking about getting married makes me want to head for the ice cream (which I would have to go buy, since I don't keep it in the house anymore). I thought I cared about a wedding dress, but the truth is, I don't. Actually, I'm rethinking getting married at all. Maybe it's just me, but right after we got engaged everything from how my fiancé combs his hair down to his chronic inability to actually WIPE the dishes clean when washing them annoys me to the point of wanting to scream at him.
Yes, I know I'm probably demented, but what can I do?
What makes me want to exercise and lose the weight? The fact that I have promised myself a two week vacation after I reach my goals. I have wanted to go to Alaska since I was a little kid, plus I love wildlife and caonoeing, and I used to love hiking, that is, back when I was in good enough shape to actually go hiking. I'm sure I can get back to that point if I work at it. Anyway, that's the ultimate reward for reaching my ultimate goal.
This week I managed to rearrange my spare room so it's now my exercise room. I even did 15 minutes of yoga yesterday. That's something I have missed a lot, but I gave it up when my belly got so big I couldn't do many of the moves, even the simple ones, AT ALL.
Today I tried to do a circuit training routine but couldn't even make it through half of one circuit. My chest and shoulders are killing me now, 3 hours later. Sad, isn't it? Guess I'm not quite at the point of being able to handle that yet. So I'll stick to the exercise bike, walking, and some yoga for now and try the circuit again in a week or two. I know if I get into it and force myself through it and end up hurting myself, I'll just say to hell with exercise and end up weighing over 300 pounds again, and even more miserable than I was before. So. Back to the drawing board with ways to advance my exercise routine.
Another part of my problem is I just woke up in a lousy mood today. At least I have Sundays to myself now because my fiancé works all day, so I can relax and do whatever I want. On the other hand, the day is blighted by knowing I have to go back to work tomorrow, and I work 9AM to 10 PM on Mondays. I'm starting to hate my job again, so I'll probably be changing careers yet again sometime in the not too far distant future.
I just reread what I wrote, and I see I'm feeling quite bitchy today. Can't be helped, I guess. At least I'm sticking to my plan for the weekend, mostly, anyway. Well, since the circuit was a complete failure, I guess I'll spend some time on my exercise bike and watch an episode of Survivorman on Netflix as that always cheers me up.
At least I can watch TV while using my exercise bike. Couldn't do that with my treadmill.