Sunday, March 31, 2013
This is about trying to maintain my composure when things get alittle rocky. ..
So, this month has been an experience. Work stress.. loss a mentor/friend.. and gain some clarity.. but mostly I am struggling to maintain my ground on South BEACH Diet. ..as for work, the Union formation caused a lot of division so I chose not to be invovled at all. Especially since the sudden loss of a mentor that sparked my love for performing arts. It not only touched me but made me realize I was so engorged in my job I forgot where I truly wanted to be down the road. Its best I pump my brakes and just learn to do my best & forget the rest.
This whole healthy lifestyle started strong.. and I still want it badly. But the fuel isn't so strong. It feels more like fumes. Its a struggle again. I hit a wall and I haven't even got far in. 22lbs lost and 100 more to go. ...its frustrating. I have comtemplated going to a doctor several times. At a routine gyno appt I was told pcos might be a reasoning behind my facial hair, skin tags, weight gain, and irregular periods. She finished off by saying "we can put u birth control or you can lose weight and it will help the symptoms" ...now birth control isn't an option cause my mother had negative reactions to birth control and genetically my outcome may be the same...as well as it will cause more weight gain. And I didn't know what pcos was and she made it sound like a cold. So after I discovered my aunt had been diagnosed and dealt with complications for yearrrrrrss ..I did my research and the fact that its well known that it makes weight loss difficult made me truly frustrated that my gyno was passive. And my primary doctor is a far cry from anything better so I'm afraid to even waste my money on a copay. I don't want to be brush off.. and I know I'm trying. Idk. I know I have to keep going no matter what the issue may be. Even if my friends around me are getting lapbands and dropping weight effortlessly... I'm still working out. Cutting carbs. No sugars... cause I know I'm ME! And I have to fight for it. And I will. But its mentally draining. Just felt like venting alittle. I'm still deciding if I should find a doctor to properly diagnose me and hopefully get better guidance.
Well sparkfamily... dispite the bumps.. we keep riding this wave till we reach land. We all know its worth it in the end. So Happy Easter! Eat smart! And its okay to not be so perfect all the time.
Thanks for reading my little rant. I will survive! Lol.