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Being Transparent

Sunday, March 31, 2013

I am now two days out in what I have decided to call my journey--and the most important thing is being transparent...I have forced myself to be truthful, not only with myself but everyone who will read/listen. Sharing this journey with a close friend is the best decision I could make because now I am not only invested in myself--but her journey as well.

Part of being transparent, is acknowledging that I am where I am for many reasons, none of them flattering... emoticon

Sure! It would be easy to say I am here because I suffered an on-the-job injury that gives me constant pain--but the fact is my back will hurt no matter what I do and will only feel better if I lose weight. emoticon

It would be easy to lean on the fact that I had two rough pregnancies, gained 142 lbs. between the two of them and every woman knows losing baby weight is hard... emoticon

As a matter of fact it would be easy enough to just say, I am a mother to two wonderful children, work part-time and go to college....Easy enough, but not THE truth.

And on this journey--I am opting for the truth, no matter how difficult it is to put it out there.

emoticon So the truth is, there is plenty of time for me to exercise, but I choose to play a video game instead or catch up on my favorite show. DVR = Laziness, in my life.

emoticon The truth is I bought an elliptical, and can count on one hand the number of times I have used it....Laziness.

emoticon The truth is I have an enormous collection of workout DVD's, but I never put them in.....Laziness.

emoticon The truth is I can eat healthier, but it is just quicker and more convenient to eat the garbage.

But if there is anything I am learning this far, it is this: Truth and Fact are not the same. I know these truths about myself, but they do not have to be the facts.

Every day from here on out, I choose to change my truths, adjust my behavior.

I will hold the only thing stopping me from reaching that healthy finish line in check--myself. My wish for everyone is that you would take this journey of transparency with me.

Let's stop hiding behind our excuses, no matter how plausible and TRUE they are.

One day at a time, One decision at a time...Change your truth!!! emoticon emoticon

emoticon On a side note for this blog, this was meant to devalue my common excuses, put the difficult part of myself out there. I am in NO WAY bullying myself and I would never suggest doing such a thing. I don't think laziness is always bad--but I think a habit of laziness is unhealthy and often this habit is formed through rationalizing our behaviors (and lack of activity). This is all part of my personal journey--I am a VERY POSITIVE person and I have no problem being the first one to pat myself on the back. This was my starting point of bulldozing excuses, forcing myself to look at myself for the good choices, and the bad. And let them go....So hopefully all of my friends won't be worried. !! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great blog emoticon
    1815 days ago
    Aww...dang girlie...get me all teary eyed again. Again, I totally hear what you are saying and again you have said what I have thought many times over and over but just never knew how to put my thoughts into words or probably even felt comfortable telling someone.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. emoticon
    1815 days ago
    Wow! You have some great insights! I can totally see bits of myself in your description of yourself. I totally use Sky rim and all of my TV shows as an escape from the stresses of my everyday life. Sometimes that escape is a good thing. It lets us re-charge our batteries, and keeps us from going insane. But for people like you and I, we become almost addicted to that escape, and use it as a crutch to avoid dealing with stressful parts of our lives that we really can not escape (like depression and our health). I absolutely loved this blog post! It is hard to be so honest with yourself. Good job, and keep it up! You are not in this alone!
    1817 days ago
    I actually have thought about it significantly for a long while, and every time I choose to play the video game instead, or camp on the couch and watch T.V., it is because I am lazy. I am not saying the laziness isn't a symptom of being depressed (which I feel like I am for sure depressed about my size), but I still know that it is a choice I make, and yes I definitely think the benefits to resolving this within myself are far-reaching in all aspects of my life! I look forward to diving deeper into this with myself, but in order to do that I have to let go of all these excuses because when I look up lazy:
    Unwilling to work or use energy
    Characterized by lack of effort or activity.
    Its pretty much a neon blinking sign emoticon
    Thank you so much for the comment and I promise I'm not stopping at lazy! I will keep learning more and more about myself. emoticon emoticon
    1817 days ago
    I suggest questioning whether "laziness" is the real reason you chose not to be healthy. I suspect there's something deeper there. How about taking 10 or 20 minutes to journal on exactly why you didn't choose healthier options? What did you choose to do instead and why? Once you understand that, it may affect not only your weight loss journey, but how you deal with life overall. I wish you the best!
    1817 days ago
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