Climbing out from under...
Saturday, March 30, 2013
I missed blogging last week, so it’s catch up time. Life has been throwing me a lot of curveballs the last few weeks. On top of that, we’ve been doing construction in the basement and school has been an absolute nightmare. I love teaching 6 and 7 year old kids how to read, but I am feeling more and more that this is not my job these days. I won’t elaborate or dwell; I’ve just been trying to get through each day, one day at a time. Something had to go to the back burner, so my Sparking has been limited. However, I’ve still been working on eating right. My back and tailbone are feeling better and I got out for my first three mile walk earlier today, my first in about 5 weeks. I’m trying to climb out from under, as I recognize that my health, both mental and physical, is something I need to keep ‘on the list’ if I want to maintain and continue my weight loss. I can lose weight. I’ve done it in the past. I’ve lost 50+ pounds a few times in my life, only to have the next life-challenge come my way, which causes me to put ME on the bottom of the list, and gain it all back…and then some. I cannot let that happen anymore. I recognize it and am fighting back. I knew winter would be tough. Thankfully, today was the first spring-like day we’ve had and I’m starting to feel hopeful again. It’s been a rough winter. I knew it would be. The last month has been very difficult. But this, too, shall pass.
As for my progress, well, last week I was up .2. Not even worth mentioning. This week, down 1.8. Total weight loss is now 72.6. I’m pleased. I have about 7 and a half pounds to go to get to where my doctor would like my weight to be. I don’t care if it takes a month, or a year. I’ll get there when I get there. I’m not putting an ‘end date’ on this. Don’t need to. I’m finally ‘getting it’ – that it’s about how I choose to live my life. Choose the things that keep me healthy, and a healthy weight will follow.
I am still struggling with the new sense of self. I still find myself thinking that I’m that morbidly obese person…and I have to remind myself that that isn’t me anymore. There have been a few times I have been feeling ‘fat’ and have actually forced myself to go look at my face in the mirror (because I don’t have full length mirrors in my house). I am still surprised at what is looking back at me sometimes! It’s almost as if I’m still not accepting these changes and need reassurance. I’m not sure why I’m having such a hard time with this, but I know this will likely be the most difficult part of the journey.
Anyway, enough rambling. I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend, be it Easter/Passover, or whatever you may celebrate. I need to run out and pick up some last minute things for our Easter dinner. We have a houseful coming tomorrow. So, until next week…have a good one, sparkfriends!