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Saturday, March 30, 2013

"I wanted to be a Boy Scout, but I had all the wrong traits. They were looking for kids who were trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Whereas I tended to be devious, fickle, obstructive, hostile, impolite, mean, defiant, glum, extravagant, dirty, and sacrilegious." --George Carlin


"When I was a kid getting to borrow the car was a big deal. Before he handed over the keys, my dad always gave me a lecture. 'Now I'm not giving you this car so you can screw it up.' Well, I said to myself, then I don't want it." --Louie Anderson


"You can't believe how much hard work it is to con people into thinking that you're productive when you're unemployed. Always thinking up things to tell them you're going to do tomorrow, having to exaggerate every minute of your nowhere's worse than having a job. At least when you're employed, when people ask about your day you can tell them to shut up and mind their own business." --Drew Carey
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    These made me chuckle; thanks for sharing!
    1638 days ago
    Have not seen these before - thank you for sharing them. I laughed and it made my evening a little lighter and brighter. Have a Happy Easter.
    1638 days ago
  • DALID414
    1638 days ago
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