Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.

    SUNSHINE65   74,642
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints


Saturday, March 30, 2013

"I wanted to be a Boy Scout, but I had all the wrong traits. They were looking for kids who were trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Whereas I tended to be devious, fickle, obstructive, hostile, impolite, mean, defiant, glum, extravagant, dirty, and sacrilegious." --George Carlin


"When I was a kid getting to borrow the car was a big deal. Before he handed over the keys, my dad always gave me a lecture. 'Now I'm not giving you this car so you can screw it up.' Well, I said to myself, then I don't want it." --Louie Anderson


"You can't believe how much hard work it is to con people into thinking that you're productive when you're unemployed. Always thinking up things to tell them you're going to do tomorrow, having to exaggerate every minute of your nowhere's worse than having a job. At least when you're employed, when people ask about your day you can tell them to shut up and mind their own business." --Drew Carey

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MSJESSPDX 3/31/2013 7:08AM

    These made me chuckle; thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANCYPAT1 3/30/2013 9:45PM

    Have not seen these before - thank you for sharing them. I laughed and it made my evening a little lighter and brighter. Have a Happy Easter.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 3/30/2013 8:24PM


Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

Log in to post a comment.