Saturday, March 30, 2013
I am a relatively new Christian. I was saved in October of last year.
Some background information. I am disabled and work on the weekends at a grocery store and get a small check from the government each month. God does provide though. My job has excellent benefits health vision and dental and prescription.
I live in a major metropolitan area and it just so happens that the right church for me is one of the wealthiest in town. I didn't go looking for it. I wasn't working then and wanted an evening service and it also happened to be a church of the same denomination that I was raised in. I went to this church for about 2 years before being saved.
I went one time to an Ash Wednesday service and I was in jeans and a polo shirt and all the men and most of the boys were in suits. All of the women were in fancy dresses. From then on I went to the chapel services only which only have a few people. I was intimidated but was in denial. I thought the distance between me and others were the other peoples fault. I carried this belief until very recently. I was guilty of not taking compliments at face value and saying to myself that they feel sorry for me.
I have had an approval addiction problem. That is being addicted to other peoples approval instead of Gods. I have been working through this issue by slowly reading Joyce Meyers book called Approval Addiction. That is probably how my eyes got opened up. I don't really remember what exactly happened, but one day it came to me that I had been intimidated and it was I who was putting the distance between me and the other parishoners.
I had decided about two months ago to use my only personal day off this year to be with Jesus Easter Sunday. However until this eureka moment I had been planning on going to the small chapel service.
I had my confidence rocked when I started school. First real semester in about 20 years. It was stressful especially when I got a 50 on a paper. However I still feel strongly about this issue and will go to one of the main services. I will be in Khakis and a button down shirt and probably the very poorest person there but didn't God say that I would have the Richest Spirit. Please correct this young Christian if I am in error. I seem to remember that in the beatitudes.
I am going to go tomorrow and have a great time fellow shipping with others and with God on the day of Jesus Ressurection.