The conversations I have with myself...
Saturday, March 30, 2013
So I try to go to the gym five to six days a week. Every day, it's the same conversation with myself...
"But I don't wanna go to the gym!"
"But people will be looking at me.."
"I hate being here. These people are so much more in shape then me."
You have something to look forward to then, huh?
"Why am I wasting my money on a gym membership?"
What would it buy you? Another dinner at McDonald's? Another pound heavier?
"I hate myself right now! I feel like I'm going to die on this stupid machine."
Suck it up, buttercup. I'm finishing this.
"I don't know what I'm doing."
So you'll learn...
The last few days I haven't been having as much of this conversation with myself. I'm pretty sure my inner fat kid is mad at me and is sulking in the corner somewhere. It's amazing what you can do when you push yourself just a little bit more out of your comfort zone. The ski machine, the one piece of equipment that I DETEST more than any other...well I did 18 minutes on it today. That's the most I've ever done on it! It may not be a big number for some people, but for me, it's like climbing my Mt. Olympus. Three months ago before I started this BLC challenge, I wouldn't have attempted working out in a gym. I was too self conscious about my weight. Today, I went to the gym twice!
I'm very thankful to my second family, the Silver Spies! They're an amazing group of women and one terrific and awe-inspiring man. Because of the challenges and the constant support from these people, I'm feeling like I'm finally moving in the right direction. I don't think I could have found a more perfect team, so thank you...from the bottom of my heart. I have quite a few wonderful people to look up to.