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    JAHINTZY   10,973
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facing fears

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Something that has been weighing heavy on my mind for a number of months now is a new requirement from my health insurer - an annual physical, by May 1st or a raise of $100 per month in rates. I can't afford that, like I won't be able to buy my groceries or pay my phone bill if that sort of thing goes into effect. So I have to go, I have no choice. Let me explain why this is so frightening to me...

I haven't had a physical in over 10 years. I haven't had a doctor since my pediatrician. I've gone to planned parenthood and different obgyns over the years because they don't scare me quite as bad and I had to in order to get bc pills, but ever since my pediatrician had me get blood work done so that she could know my cholesterol numbers at *14* and had the gall to ::lie:: to me and tell me the blood work was just a finger prick... I've never gone back. I couldn't make myself do it. I couldn't find a big enough reason to do it.

I've had panic attacks in obgyn offices, dentist offices, and nearly at the thought of just trying to call a new office to get set up as a new patient. So it is a big deal to me, that this past week - I called a new doctor's office and had them send me the new patient forms. I filled them out and took them into the office. I made an appointment. It remains to be seen how I do getting through the appointment, but the fact that I have done as much as I have is further than I've gotten before. And I'm pretty proud of myself. My plan for the appointment is to explain my issues before we get started, hopefully I can make it through without a panic attack - but even if I do, I've gotten better at weathering the attacks as well. The fact that I've gotten this much done in the face of my fear has been making me feel better overall as well, a little less stress which is cool. So wish me luck, I'm pretty much just doing the whole close your eyes and take the leap approach.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BONNIEMARGAY 4/5/2013 3:51AM

    Wishing you access to all of the resources you need for excellent health.

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BROOKLYN_BORN 4/2/2013 8:40AM

    As you know, I totally understand and sympathize with your anxiety condition. Although I'm more of a fan of the carrot than a stick (maybe $100 off the premium for getting a physical?), that won't happen in our profit driven society.

In any case, getting that physical is important for your health. Good for you for going through with it.

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GRAPLEIRIS 4/1/2013 11:37AM

    WOW! This is a toughie for you.
But you've already got the foundation taken care of, and if it's a good Dr's office, they will have a clue about how to handle a delicate situation.

Remember to breathe!

And try to be confident in the fact that you've been making such good choices lately.

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CBLENS 3/31/2013 9:26AM

    A lot of people have anxiety at the doctors office.Write it down so you won't forget anything. Good luck.

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SADWHITEWOLF 3/30/2013 5:10PM

    You are brave!

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