In September, I quit smoking. I have made it almost 7 months without a cigarette. I started walking in order to not gain weight after smoking. I am not a small girl and I didn't want to get any bigger. I signed up for a 5k to keep myself walking.
So - at the beginning of February, I walked my first 5K. I had to finish in an hour in order to get a medal. So, that was my goal. Well, that and to not be dead last. I accomplished both goals. I had not worked as hard as I could have worked to prepare and I seriously thought I would die by the end of the 5k. There was no last minute burst of speed across the finish line...I wanted to crawl.
But, I had lost 10 lbs and, when I started getting ready back in September, I couldn't even walk a mile. So, even though I know that I could have been better prepared, I did at least finish. And I say that I could have been better prepared because after the holidays, I had to take a business trip to NJ. I exercised 1 time in the 10 days I was gone. I can make all of the excuses in the world but ultimately, I just didn't make the time to fit in exercise. I kept saying I would get back to it when I returned home.
Well, I returned home and my daughter surprised me (from Hawaii) and was here for a month. I couldn't use my treadmill because that is the room with our sleeper sofa. So, I used that as the "reason" that I continued to not work out. We had a gym membership I could use. Of course, I had to work too many hours (another "reason"). I sense a pattern here...The good news was that my daughter was here for the 5K and cheered me on.
As a result of her visit, when she returned home to Hawaii, she lost 10 lbs and is consistently walking 5K around the base. YAY Melinda :)
After the race was done, you would have thought that would have been all of the motivation I needed to keep going. Not so - I came home & promptly gained back the weight and kept going until I was at the highest weight that I have ever been in my entire life. About a week ago, I realized how crazy it was to keep going the route I was headed and asked myself then - why do I quit?
I have been analyzing that a bunch lately because now that I am back on track and losing again, I do not want to quit. I want to feel as great as I do each day when I wake up in the morning and exercise. I want to enjoy being able to buy smaller sizes. I want to sit in the chairs at work and not feel like I have wedged myself in. I want to be able to fly and not ask for an extension to the seat belt. I want to be married to my awesome husband for a very long time. I want to be actively involved with my children's lives and granddaughter's life.
So, why do I quit? I know that it's completely a mental game and I am using this time to really analyze the reasons that I would not stick with the exercise and eating right. I mean, I was able to stop smoking cold turkey and I have been very successful with that. I think it's just a matter of changing my habits and replacing the bad ones with good ones (like waking up each morning to work out). It's also realizing that I am worth it - completely.