Saturday, March 30, 2013
It is the beginning of spring break for me, or will be as soon as I finish grading papers and posting grades! God has blessed us this year with a forecast that truly looks like spring. It will reach 60 degrees here for the first time this season today and will continue in this vein for the next several days! Whoo hoo! I'm going to rake the yard!
I signed a pledge on my last blog to never quit or give up on this journey toward healthier living, which has felt like an uphill battle for the last few weeks. The pledge, as well as an awesome lesson from Coach Nicole, has allowed me some self-reflection and self-forgiveness as well as a plan to stay on track. I've been focusing on getting a bit more exercise every day this week, and it feels wonderful! I ALMOST met my calorie goal yesterday, despite a potluck at work; that's amazing, since I've been exceeding it by over 1,000 calories a day for way too long!
The sunshine and warmth feel great, and it's easy to feel less stress and more hope and happiness when not facing deadlines at work. But why was I making such poor choices over the last weeks? Why did I allow stress and depression to win that round? Why did I sabotage my positive lifestyle changes by buying cookies, Doritos, ice cream and fried chicken? Why did I quit working out on my exercise bike when I know how much better I feel after even a short ride? Am I afraid of success? No. I'm not good at this self-evaluation thing, but I think I jumped at the chance of having an emotional excuse to make poor choices. I was almost defiant in the store. "I'll buy this because I want it!"After so many months of better choices, why did I regress? Why did I cop an attitude? Why did I eat a pint of ice cream at a time? I doubt my ability to completely figure it out, but I do NOT doubt my ability to plan for an alternate course of action when faced with the same feelings again.