It is always harder than I think...
Thursday, March 28, 2013
This morning I woke up with one hell of a hangover!!! Dry mouth, feeling bloated all over, eyes swollen and sore, achy all over, pounding headache... THE WORKS! And the kicker? I didn't drink a drop of alcohol the night before. I ate. And ate. AND ATE! My hangover was most definitely from food!!! What on earth? How is that worth the eating of it all? I had chocolate, chips and dip, bread straight from the bag, cinnamon buns my kids didn't want, and more that I can't even remember. I have to stop doing this! It is like being the alcoholic who wakes up in a pile of their own vomit on the bathroom floor! I am really no better at all.
So, here I am again at DAY 1. I can't eat carbs. It is really as simple as that. Maybe there will come a day when I can eat them in moderation, but I really doubt it. I get out of control as soon as I start allowing carbs back into my body. It's hard though... It makes me feel sad to think of never eating sandwiches or desserts. Of limiting my alcohol consumption and never eating snack foods. I love those things! But, like a boyfriend that is no good for me, I have to get rid of them long enough that it doesn't break my heart to not have them.
Because when it comes right down to it... my life is good. I have a good job, great kids, a wonderful boyfriend, a house and car I love, fantastic friends and family. I have everything a person needs to be truly happy. Except I can't truly be happy in this body I'm in. I've been hiding in it for way too long, and it is time to let go. I don't need it anymore.