Greetings from London! I have been here a week now and what a crazy week it has been-as one opportunity seems to have imploded (the family is *insane*;) the other what I have been calling my ‘dream job’ is in the palm of my hand. …That is to say I did my second interview yesterday and once again It went really, really well, no official offer granted yet because the person I interviewed with does not have that jurisdiction.
In 2004 shortly before I first came to London to live for the summer as a 20 year old undergraduate intern, I was diagnosed with severe generalized anxiety disorder and OCD. As the daughter of an alcoholic (whose parents were divorcing at the time) I had suffered up until that point in one degree or another but as things and years went by that settled.
It’s 2004 again!
On the extremely happy end of things it truly feels like this job I have been vying for 2+ years will come true. I am not an HR expert, but you better believe my OCD fueled readings of job advice boards and overall sense of human interaction/intuition my chances look fantastic. I CAN’T STOP thinking, wondering and praying over this and I really want to because it is driving me mad.
These next couple of days are going to be agonizing the offer which I can almost taste is not likely to come tomorrow Good Friday, the weekend or even Easter Monday. Not to mention if their intentions are good there are people to check back with in Germany and probably some other logistical stuff. Yes, I sent my thank you emails and have firmly planted myself as a confident, well trained, ambitious candidate and I have to let it take its course but this is so HARD!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, please put me out of my misery already!
I don’t want to bog down this blog with too much negativity because overall I am in such a grateful and anticipatory state. …But I have to give a bit of space to what has become of my governess trial---the whole reason I am in London this time around.
As my previous blog mentions the original plan was to come here, live with a family from an Arab gulf state and see if I might be a suitable *governess* for the two daughters. For those of you who are not familiar a governess is a teacher and/or academic tutor, in this age most governesses are highly skilled speaking several languages and carrying degrees/experience in education…like me.
If the child(ren) are younger some nannying is likely required. Not in this case as the children are two bilingual, IB International school educated teenagers who need academic support. …so that is what the mother said she wanted.
I don’t want to waste too many of my words on these people so I’ll make what could be a long drama succinct. She said she wanted me to bond with them but the daughters were so conceited they wouldn’t talk to me, look at me or even open the door when I arrived at the home…and I tried. This became even harder because she asked me to stay home and clean their rooms when we could have been outside ‘bonding.’ She said she wanted an educated, worldly governess to academically support them but screamed at me and accused me of being a disappointment on the second day saying the daughters didn’t like me (as if they knew me, the entire day I spent with them they played ‘too cool’ around their friends. )
Earlier that day I had seen the most incredible tantrum ever thrown by a *teenager* ever: screaming, whaling, throwing stuff, hitting things… I knew Russian four year olds with more composure.
For a property worth millions the house was so untidy…things strewn about everywhere, numerous shopping bags lying about, shoes and purses purchased for more than our monthly pay checks any which place, medicines left dripping off tables! Did I mention I also know Russian three year olds that I taught to clean up after themselves?
I realized on the second day that I was standing in an exquisite home populated by a family that because of their immense wealth were able to live in a world in which they had no sense of responsibility or care for even the slightest things and an enormous sense of entitlement. People become objects to collect and disregard too. Couple this with a the fact that they come from a very paternalistic state where even I as a foreigner would need a permission from a male relative to visit and a man to guarantee my bank account…you can see what happens. Immaturity + money… .
Does any of this shock me? No because I spent the last year around Russian billionaires. In one way I have learned a lot from this experience and that in itself is important.
I never had a chance. The Mother kept me at home and the daughters wouldn’t acknowledge my presence anyway. That being said I promised myself to do to the trial in full as scheduled. Mom had another idea out of nowhere two days ago she said “this isn’t working!” and threw me out. Fine. …Yet now she is toying with myself and my agent as we are both owed agreed wages! She wants me to leave where I am staying but why should I? She said I was going to be living in when in reality I have been in a hotel since arrival. I hope this gets sorted soon!
…So now you see the London conundrum in one way I am extremely happy, in another sad/angry but nonetheless relieved and all around SUPER ANXIOUS! This weekend cannot go fast enough, my time in London cannot go fast enough (it’s a great city with a very special place in my heart but I am not a tourist this time around.)
…So please I will keep you in my Good Friday thoughts and prayers, please keep me in yours that all has a great resolution soon.