Thursday, March 28, 2013
Fast forward from last August, and not much has changed for me. My last attempt at weight loss died pretty much completely when school started. But I'm trying something different now. It's a pretty strict program, where I don't have to make many choices on my own in the beginning. Which is good for me, because I've come to learn that at least right now, my addiction to junk food is such that if I have a choice, I will find a way to rationalize making the unhealthy choice, even when I know it's unhealthy.
I'm on day three of my new program, and it kind of feels like I'm going through food rehab. All of my usual go to junk is gone from the house, and I'll admit, I want it back. But now I try to think about why I want it so badly, when I know it's no good for me. For example, one of my biggest indulgences was Doritos and sour cream. My mother introduced me to the pleasure of chips and sour cream when I was young, and it has become one of my go to comfort foods. But it got to the point where I would eat half a tub of sour cream and half of the family size bag of chips in one sitting. Why did I do it? Because it felt good when I put those chips and sour cream in my mouth, and if I was feeling down, then didn't I "deserve" to have a treat?
But I'm starting to realize that this type of "treat" has never really helped me feel better. So now I'm working on retraining my way of thinking about food. Unhealthy foods are not a "treat" that will make me feel better, and the momentary exhilaration of putting the food in my mouth shouldn't outweigh my concern about my health and my desire to look and feel better.
That being said, just because I realize these things, it doesn't mean my body, and more specifically my mouth, believe them yet. But it's a work in progress, and I'm really hoping that I can make it through this food rehab free from my addiction to junk, and with the tools I need to make the right decisions.
(P.S. I'm only about a pound away from my first 5% goal!)