Thursday, March 28, 2013
Each day starts out so good and way into the afternoon and early evening, I'm still doing good and then watch out, I blow it. I can go over my food tracker every day and I hate it and I get so mad when others can eat so many bad, unhealthy things and don't even think twice about it, and here I sit, paying for every single bite that goes into my mouth. Yes, bad and good. It seems that just about everything I eat goes to fat, especially when I can't exercise like the norm. I know this is the same song, 2nd verse, but it seems to be getting worse and I really feel like giving up. It's so much easier to not have this rule my life every day. I feel like I'm obsessed with doing right and when I don't, I get so down on myself. I don't seem to enjoy life like I should because I love to eat and I have this burden over me all day long, watching me every minute of the day, to make sure I don't overeat or eat wrong! Why do we have this over us that when we're overweight, we're bad people, that we're so bad because we can't just eat plain whole foods. I get so tired of chicken breasts, of pretty plain veggies and fruit. No dressings on them of any kind, much at all, of plain dried up popcorn, of just water to drink. Not having lots of bread right of the oven with butter, etc. I've been eating like that and I feel more safe but i also feel like I'm missing something. I miss my yummy meals that I used to eat. Old-fashioned mac & cheese, chicken and rice, spaghetti, meatloaf and no ground turkey doesn't kick it with me. It's beef or nothing with me with meatloaf and everything else that should be beef and our beef is so lean on the dairy, that it's really considered vennison. When I try to eat everything in moderation, I tend to eat more because it tastes so good. Like one cookie or one little pc. of chocolate. I'm so tired of thinking scientifically. We're like computers. So many minutes here for exercise, so much of this food and that, 1/2 cups, oz's. etc. Am I willing to go by all the rules to get down to my size 12? Some days I think so and other days, I say forget it! Well, this is all the latest that's been going on in my SP life lately. I'm just so tired of tracking and everything else that goes along with it. I'm tired of being consumed by the computer alot in the day.