Wednesday, March 27, 2013
sometimes I wonder if things will ever get better in my life. will I ever be on top again. will I ever be able to see the good in anything and feel hopeful. I ask these questions because its been 7 years...7 YEARS...of a steady downhill decline in every aspect of my life. ive lost 4 jobs, 2 cats, my mother, my car, my nice apartment, a long relationship, my best friend moved 100 miles away. I could really go on and on about the losses. I feel like I'm forever trying to "think positive" and hope that "this too shall pass" and yet it doesn't. Im still here in my ghetto apartment, alone, with a horrible job that I stress over every day and cry over every paycheck. I cant afford to go to the doctor when I need to let alone pay for anything ever. if my hairdryer died today i'd be screwed because I don't have $10 to buy another one. I cant even put back $1 a week to save for one becuz I forever need that $1 to survive.
Im feeling at the end of my rope again and I just want to let go. Im exhausted and Im alone and I just want peace. I want to feel peace inside myself. I just want to let go. I just want to let go. Thanks for listening.