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    PIXIE-LICIOUS   119,303
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Being Honest

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Wednesday, March 27, 2013




Today is day 36 of my current streak!

I was thinking today about how different my life has become since I started my first streak last year. Back then, exercise was SO not important to me. I belonged to a women's gym, and although I went there on a regular basis, I never pushed myself at all during my workouts. I just did the circuit at a lazy pace, chatting with the other women there and not doing a darned thing to break a sweat or get my heart rate up. And I would think "oh, I'm working out, I'm in pretty good shape for how fat I am!"

Isn't it amazing the things we can convince ourselves of, and the lies we can tell ourselves? I honestly had myself believing that I was fit and healthy, even though I weighed 286 lbs, binged on junk food in the middle of the night while everyone was asleep, and didn't even WORK my workouts!

But yet, for all the lies I told myself, there was no way I could ignore the fact that I would get out of breath just from walking across the room, or the way my whole body hurt, or the way I had no energy for living my life. So once again, I lied to myself. I'd tell myself that my knees hurt so much from working out, and that the reason I was out of breath so easily was because of my blood pressure medication.



When I started my streak, I knew I had to be completely honest with myself, or as close to it as possible. It was time to admit...my knees hurt because I weighed so much! I was out of breath and had no energy because, aside from that half hour at the women's gym, I spent the rest of the day sitting (or laying) around watching TV or Sparking!

Once I started being honest with myself, things started to change. I quit the women's gym, and I started working out at home. I stopped buying junk food, hiding it in my purse, and then eating it at 2 in the morning in a dark kitchen. I bought healthy food, and I started tracking it like it was my mission in life.



It was not easy, and its still not easy. I struggled in the beginning, and I struggle to this day, but thats okay. Before I started streaking last year, I struggled just to MOVE and BREATHE. Now I struggle to IMPROVE a little every day.

My streaks aren't perfect. I have had to start over a few times, but I'm proud of starting over because that means I didn't quit! I have had huge successes and also huge failures, but I've kept going and I've made progress. I'm not at my goal size yet, but I know I will get there if I keep pushing myself. In the meantime, I've had a multitude of non-scale victories to celebrate. I've gotten smaller, stronger, healthier and I have learned to love my perfectly imperfect body. I have learned that taking care of my health is the most loving thing I can do for my family.



When I workout now, I strive to push myself hard. I actually LOVE to break a sweat and get that heart rate up. I love the exhilarating exhaustion that comes from a true workout. I never look for the easy way out anymore. I like a workout that challenges me, and then when I get good at it and it feels easier, I move on to something else.

I still love my DDP Yoga workouts because they still challenge the heck out of me! Recently, I've also started doing kettlebell workouts with this DVD;

www.youtube.com/watch?v=
FTm10O_B_rY


Slowly but surely, I am getting closer and closer to my goal. In the meantime, I am discovering that I am capable of so much more than I ever would have believed, and I look forward to discovering even more about myself.




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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATNCAG 9/10/2013 3:56PM

    That was awesome! Thanks & congrats on all of your hard work. We got this!
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RETROCURVYLADY 4/22/2013 5:15PM

    Very inspirational, thank you.

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EFFRAYECHILDE 4/19/2013 10:20AM

    emoticon emoticon

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YULLABELLE 4/4/2013 9:22AM

    YOur story sounds just like mine. Thanks for telling it. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FAVORITEAUNT84 4/3/2013 1:02PM

    LOVE your motivators. emoticon

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KALEWINE 4/2/2013 12:59PM

    emoticon emoticon It' amazing the lies we tell ourselves, but it's also amazing how far we can go when we push ourselves!

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DEEDAYE 4/1/2013 7:27PM

    Pixie, you really rock! emoticon emoticon

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FIFIFRIZZLE 4/1/2013 12:26PM

    Congratulations on releasing that weight!

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AME4IT 3/31/2013 10:57PM

    So proud of you! emoticon emoticon

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RAINBOWMF 3/31/2013 5:03PM

    Proud of you! emoticon emoticon

Home from vacation and I am looking into the DDP videos to order them.

Love Mary

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CATIATM 3/31/2013 12:47PM

    This is a seriously awesome blog!

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IDICEM 3/31/2013 9:25AM

  Thank you for sharing!
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LIFETIMER54 3/31/2013 5:52AM

  emoticon emoticon

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CAMSEDGE 3/30/2013 11:40PM

    emoticon

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FALLNTENN 3/30/2013 10:01PM

    Rock on!

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MILLEDGE2 3/30/2013 9:34PM

    You continue to inspire!

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L1ZB3TH354 3/30/2013 9:23PM

    Wow! You are awesome! Great blog!

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METTATEACH 3/30/2013 7:21PM

    Isn't it amazing how good your body can feel after you have a good, intense workout? I become so aware of breathing, sitting up straighter, and making better simple choices like parking further away from the store. I can't say that I "crave" exercise like I do chocolate, but it is truly a game changer when trying to lose weight! You go girl! emoticon

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SEATTLE58 3/30/2013 6:32PM

    You Do ROCK!!!! emoticon

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SHOAPIE 3/30/2013 6:09PM

    emoticon

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ROSIEPD 3/30/2013 4:41PM

    Enjoyed and was inspired by your blog! Happy Easter!

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DIVAMAMAOFTWO 3/30/2013 1:32PM

    So true! Thanks for sharing.

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MISSBOOBOOKITTY 3/30/2013 12:31PM

    emoticon

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BARBARAROCKSIT 3/30/2013 12:30PM

    emoticon

Thanks for sharing - I needed to hear that!

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VANNOS32 3/30/2013 12:22PM

    Good for you!!! Best of luck reaching your goals.

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LIFEFOUNDONARUN 3/30/2013 11:49AM

    Right on!! What a wonderful blog! Thanks for the inspiration you just gave to me. You are awesome!!!

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WORKNPROGRESS49 3/30/2013 9:45AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ALIAJO 3/30/2013 9:42AM

    emoticon Good for you! Thank you for sharing this!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHIRPGIRL 3/30/2013 8:13AM

    Thanks for sharing your story. Facing the truth isn't always easy, but it is often the only way. Good for you! emoticon

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TORTISE110 3/30/2013 7:46AM

    Honesty is everything in weight loss, I think! Great blog.

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LIFETIMER54 3/30/2013 5:48AM

  emoticon emoticon

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CHRISTINASP 3/30/2013 5:08AM

    I'm so thankful that you are so honest. Posting about your binge eating habits before you changed. It is really inspiring to me because it tells me that change is always possible.
I love how you compare first struggling for breath and now struggling to improve a little.
I also really like your attitude in what you said about starting over. I totally agree that it shows you have strength!

Comment edited on: 3/30/2013 5:09:10 AM

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TRINIITY1 3/30/2013 1:14AM

    emoticon Blog!!

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KITTY43351 3/29/2013 11:05PM

  How true! It's so easy to kid ourselves about our real level of effort. you definitely made me rethink my habits!

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DOROTHYAKERMAN 3/29/2013 10:07PM

    Once again a great blog. Thank you Pixie for your inspiration. I needed it. I have not been doing very good lately.
Dorothy emoticon emoticon

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ILIKETOZUMBA 3/29/2013 10:07PM

    Hooray for you!!! It really is amazing how we can delude ourselves when we choose to turn a blind eye to our own habits. I used to subscribe to the belief that if no one saw me eating it, it didn't count. Crazy. Once we get honest with ourselves, that's when we can truly take control and change our lives for the better!

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TRACYLYNN853 3/29/2013 9:04PM

    emoticon

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MIZZKINS 3/29/2013 7:15PM

    Way to go! You've inspired me to push harder and start a spark streak! Honesty is a good blog title and your success and happiness are contagious!

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JIBBIE49 3/29/2013 6:50PM

    great. Love seeing your blog in the Spark Mail.

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JIBBIE49 3/29/2013 6:50PM

    great. Love seeing your blog in the Spark Mail.

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SHOAPIE 3/29/2013 6:19PM

    Congrats

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BARBANNA 3/29/2013 5:19PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAMENDEZ13 3/29/2013 5:10PM

    You've got this! Thanks for being an inspiration!

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MILLIE5522 3/29/2013 4:13PM

    emoticon You are doing it! An inspiration to us all.

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REDBIRDFLY 3/29/2013 1:21PM

    emoticon My Day 11 emoticon emoticon

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35ANGELS 3/29/2013 12:31PM

    emoticon blog. You are such an inspiration, you have inspired me to start my own 100 day streak. emoticon

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SWEET_CAROLYN 3/29/2013 12:28PM

    Thank you for such an inspiring blog post!!

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BRITTTURTLE 3/29/2013 12:14PM

  congrats. this is so inspiring!

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LOPEYP 3/29/2013 12:05PM

    I love to break a sweat!!
Glad that you are successful!! emoticon

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BOOKWORM27S 3/29/2013 11:22AM

    Excellent blog!

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