Trying to stay positive in a stressful situation: Help needed please
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
I love my dogs, but they frustrate me and stress me out more than anything at times. Why? Because they sometimes argue and when I say argue, I mean fight. I hate using that word! Ninety eight percent of the time, they are best buds!
I have been crying and stressed now since last night. My golden, for reasons I cannot figure out, jumped on my yellow lab. There was very little damage done this time, but the stress of this is trying.
So, what to do??? My poor lab
She lives in fear of our golden. You can see it in her body language (which may not help the situation as the golden seems to sense it). I am to the point where we are considering finding a home for our lab. Our golden has cancer, so finding a home for her is out of the question. And if you are wondering....the cancer probably has nothing to do with this (we have asked both our trainer and our vet).
I want to believe that I can work thru this, I want to believe that things will be ok! But we can't afford any more vet bills and the uncertainty is wearing on me. I LOVE MY DOGS!!! I wouldn't get rid of my kid for misbehaving, so why should I do the same for the dogs???
I took our lab for 3 miles this morning followed by another 3 miles with my golden separately. While that is good for me, it's not good for them. I don't want to keep them separated
Ugh!!! What do I do??? Help!!
Member Comments About This Blog Post
I suggest treating the Golden like you would a child. When a child is violent with another being, you separate them from the others. Do not reward the behavior; the Golden needs to know that such behavior is still unacceptable. Put him/her in the crate, in a place where he/she can see you while you shower your Lab with affection, treats, etc. Do this EVERY TIME your Golden is aggressive/violent, for a reasonable amount of time (I'd say 30 mins max). Hopefully, he/she will figure out that when he/she behaves inappropriately, there is an unpleasant consequence. Yes, I know he/she is ill, and I'm sorry for the stress it must cause you, but it's not fair to you or your lab to let him/her act like this. It's especially not fair to your Lab to send him/her away for something that isn't their fault. I hope this is helpful. :)
1570 days ago
I don't have any advice, but I hope you find a resolution. I love my dogs so much and would not know what to do in your situation. Thinking of you.
1577 days ago
I'm so sorry Vix - I know you've been struggling with this for a while. I can't even imagine it. I don't have any great advice, but I do have some insight - If your child became physically abusive to your other children, or your spouse started being physically aggressive, those situations might require intervention too.
It is not the case that you have different standards for your dogs and your human family, it is the case that some behaviors can't be tolerated no matter who is engaging in them.
No easy answer or fix, my heart really goes out to you on this one.
HUGS coming your way...
1578 days ago
First, are you certain the Golden is not in pain?
If not, what else has changed. Look that the environment. You are recently back up and moving - has this take time from the dogs. Food, yard, toys - look for changes. Dogs are not good with change, and the older the dog the worse the ability to adapt.
I can think of a couple of other things - and depending on the answers there might be something we can do. You have my number - call me over the weekend. We'll figure something out.
1582 days ago
Unfortunately, sometimes when dogs start fighting, they don't stop. If that is the case here, the only thing that you can do is crate and rotate (keep them separate and rotate them out into main living spaces and outside separately.
I hope things get better for you soon!
1583 days ago
I think Ceasar Milan (dog whisperer) would say something about being sure to establish YOURSELF as the alpha dog. Dogs that fight are working out their pecking order. Or it may be because she is in pain...i know when Im hurting I tend to lash out at everyone.
1583 days ago
I am so sorry to hear about your struggle to keep the peace. I've also had a situation in which my Weimaraner became aggressive towards my Sheltie (who has since passed). Have you identified the source of the tension between the two dogs? For instance, my Weimaraner usually started fights over food -- he was very food aggressive and would go after my Sheltie to steal his dinner. Whereas other dogs may get territorial over a dog bed or even your affection. So I would advised trying to find the cause and working from there, hopefully with the aid of your trainer.
1583 days ago
That's horrible that you need to keep them apart. I had two dogs that were great buds and one day one attacked the other. I hoped it wouldn't happen again-but it did. My husband and I had to keep them apart for years. I hope things work out for you and the dogs.
1583 days ago
I am so sorry that is a horrible situation. I have always seen golden's that are good with people and animals. I am so sorry I hope you find a solution!
1583 days ago
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