Wednesday, March 27, 2013
I was so ticked off today at someone. The made me feel angry, ignored, inferior and powerless to improve it. I was uninspired and unmotivated and then ticked off again. I wanted to go chew someone out, send off a nasty email. In fact I started the email. I was not at a cracking point or ready to explode but I realized I needed to put the feelings away and deal with some other things first. I will admit that I even started to think maybe my feelings were wrong and unnecessary. So the following rant came to be. It is not finished but blogging can be a good way to express some emotions.
I have a right to feel angry.
In fact I have the right to all and any of my feelings at any time. I also have the right to express and utilize my emotions. In fact we all have these rights. Emotions are not right or wrong. The may be influenced be negative stimuli, but they simply exist as part of what makes us all individuals. Our emotions are part of our being and what makes us alive. * We often surrender these rights to be accepted in our culture. I am boldly stating that we have the right to possess, feel and act on our emotions and this is part of being a whole and healthy person.
However we DO NOT have the right to act in any way we want or whenever we want because of our emotions. WE DO NOT hace the right to hurt others because of our emotional state. People will often use their emotions as an excuse to avoid responsibility for hurting others and commiting crimes. The care only about their rights but obviously do not even notice the rights of others. The difference here is theright to be/exist versus doing regardless of who it affects. We have the right to be and to exist. But so do others and that is why we need to be aware of how our emotions may influence the way we act. Sometime society deals with this by saying emotions are bad. By making emotions bad , people feel and think they are bad themselves and therefore deal with emotions in a unhealthy way. Which generally means we hurt someone or something. Sometimes we hurt ourselves. We might think that anything that makes us feel bad about ourselves is something to be avoided at all costs. So we bury the emotions and express them in negative ways.
We eat our emotions, abuse drugs/alcohol, withdraw from the world so no one sees us, perhaps even physically abuse ourselves. The important part of emotions is how we handle them. Sometimes we are in a situation where we may think we are ignoring our emotions because we don’t instantly express them. but in reality we are storing them so we can deal and process them in a better way later. It is a part of emotional maturity. I often respond to emotions in a way that keeps me from reaching my goals. So i knew sending out a nasty email or chewing out some coworkers would not help my issue but possibly make things worse.
The real thing that I, and others. need to learn is to feel, manage and express emotions in ways that are healthy. For instance the part of my rant that lists names and revenge scenerios are not posted online or in any other public place. Stapeling a "Stop being incompetant" sign to someones forehead for example That would be stupid. And unneccesry. It could potentially get me inspected by law enforcement personal. In my head I know I am joking and just relieveing frustration. But they may not see it that way.
quite simply i need to let myself feel my emotions, deal with them properly so they can dissipate on their own and then focus on the more important things in life. i don't want to be controlled by emotions
there is more on this but i thought posting it would be a good way to get hte mental cobwebs out of my head.