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Just Too Much

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

As I've mentioned, I've had a lot going on this past year. It was a tough one for me. I may go into detail about the different situations at some point, but for now I'll just kind of give a brief summary.

In February 2012, I got diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. I'd had it before, but before was very mild compared to this time around. This time it caused me to miss a week off work simply because I couldn't drive. My left eye would not stay closed and it put strain on my right eye which is already my weak eye. This made it hard for me to see so I wasn't able to drive. I also had a very droopy mouth on the left side, and my left nostril felt glued shut. Have I recovered? Not completely, but it's much less noticeable now at least.

In March 2012, I finally started back to school after taking half a year off. It wasn't the same and I didn't like it so I dropped my classes. The school didn't notify the VA. Caused me all kinds of debts and trouble that I'm still trying to get straigtened out.

With my going back to school I also cut my hours back at work to weekends only. When I wanted to get my hours back, I wasn't able to. Begged for months and still no luck. So now we're talking financial strain. Strain on me and on my husband. Luckily he supported me without grumbling too much, but it still put a strain on us.

At some point over the summer, my mom fell and broke her hip. She had surgery and was in the hospital for a few weeks, then another few months in the nursing home afterwards. I never got to go see her. She's home now, but I still haven't been able to make the trip to see her. I'm thinking of going in May when I get an extra paycheck.

In October, I found out a dear friend of mine got killed. Shot and killed by her abusive husband she was trying to leave. Shot by him then staged to look like she shot herself. Then he left with a friend and didn't even report it until the next morning. They arrested him, but last I heard he was out on bail. Talk about a boiling over pot of emotions that came along with that. I'm still simmering...

In Novemeber, my oldest sister passed away. She had been in and out of the hospital for years. She had been in the hospital for over a year this last time. I knew she was in bad shape. I just could not make it down to see her. I really wish I had found a way to.

In December I finally found a new job. Keep in mind I'd been searching since early spring. Only after begging for more hours a month before I started looking. Some good news, and relief, finally.

In January 2013, I started my new job. My last day at my old job was bittersweet. I had been working in home health care and had a few clients I had gotten close to. One I had been assigned to the whole 1.5 years I was with that company. She passed away the following weekend. Thankfully her daughter called me and told me. The company surely didn't.

So now you have an idea of the chaos I was trying to make sense of. My husband's a good man, but he did not help me very well emotionally. I felt like I had nobody to talk to. I think I went through a time of mild depression also.

But I've gotten back on my vitamins, I've found an herbal supplement that seems to be helping, and I'm starting to feel like myself again.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LOBOSMOMMA 3/27/2013 7:47PM

    Thanks to all of you for the encouraging words.

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LEAH43138 3/27/2013 2:35PM

    I am sorry about all the loss and struggle you have been through.
You are a strong person. You have been through so much that would normally break a person but you didn't give up, you kept on pushing. Glad that it is turning around for you.

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AURORAMILLET 3/27/2013 2:25PM

    Wow! I can see that you have been through ALOT! I could not even begin to imagine having to go through all of that. I can only imagine how strong you must be to be able to manage.

Take on eday at a time and make the most of it.


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KJELLYBEAN15 3/27/2013 2:21PM

    Wow. You sure have had your challenges and strains this past year. I really don't know what to say other than whenever you feel alone, seek comfort in the support you know you can get from your friends here. And dont ever forget that your Lord Jesus Christ is there with you, holding onto you at all times. He feels your pains. He will comfort you during all trials. I hope you can see your mom soon. You never know when it might be the last time.

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