Wednesday, March 27, 2013
For the past two months, I have been struggling to find motivation. Between drama going on with my family and my current relationship troubles with my boyfriend, it's hard enough to smile let alone find the motivation to eat right/exercise. However, I have been keeping on track for the most part and I'm really proud of myself for not snacking while I'm emotional.
The reason why I have been mostly struggling as far as attitude is concerned is because my boyfriend of over a year recently decided that he might move to West Virginia. I was heart broken, terrified and I still have no idea if it will happen or not. In my despair I suddenly came up with a way to "go away" myself. He was moving because things weren't working out here as far as jobs and stability are concerned. I have experienced the same thing, however I am in college for Digital Photography. The thing is, I have no idea if I will even have a job after I graduate. As a matter of fact, I have NO guarantee that will happen at all. Then I thought about life without my boyfriend and I realized that as much as I would miss him, I would not drop dead if he suddenly left. I also want to achieve having a healthy body and do something my parents would be proud of. It dawned on me that there was perhaps one option I hadn't entirely considered yet that my boyfriend had tried and previously failed to do: join the military.
I have always been a tom boy and I want to do something to make my family not only proud, but do something for the greater "good" of this country. I had never considered this option before simply because I was a girl and before now I was completely inadequate to join anyways. Now, it's the motivation I have been searching for. Every time I want to quit, I think to myself, "If I was in the Navy, they wouldn't let me get away with this. If anything they would make me struggle more!" This coupled with the confidence I have been gaining in myself has resulted in me working harder and not making any excuses for myself.
Maybe I will join the Navy, but I've given myself at least six months to accomplish my fitness goals and "train". Maybe I will change my mind or get a job by then. If not, then I will be physically fit for the Navy, which I plan to accomplish even if I don't join.