Tuesday, March 26, 2013
So Thursday was my no-good-terrible-very-bad-day.
I was miserable all day, crying for no reason (like listening to Nelly's "The Champ"). I didn't make the best decisions ever that night... it included going to the bar and drinking more than I should have. Crap.
Friday morning, he came over to take me to the airport so I could fly to PA for one of my best friend's wedding. He gave me a fantastic hug when we got there and told me to have fun and take care of myself. Cried my eyes out.
I didn't sleep much at all over the weekend, but the wedding was a BLAST!
I got back yesterday afternoon and one of my college roommates flew down with me to visit for the week. I texted him to talk when he got out of class last night. So he came over and we went outside to talk (until it got too cold) then went to his place. I cried and just told him I wish I knew the REAL reason why he broke up with me because I didn't believe the "I'm just not feeling as strongly as you."
Found out that he REALLY is scared. He is scared of how he feels and he didn't know what to do, so he just blocked it and ran instead of talking about it. He's unhappy with himself, but knows he has a lot to offer this world. I made him tell me 5 positive things about himself that he likes/does and why. I also told him that he needs to look at his negatives and see if he is able to change something like a physical thing he doesn't like (ex: eating pizza every night--solution: don't buy pizza when grocery shopping) or something that requires a physical change AND a mental change (ex: I'm lazy and fat--solution: start working out (changes physical); I'm getting in shape! (mental change))
I think it took this "loss" for him to realize a lot of things, but I'm optimistic from here. He knows he broke my trust, and wants it back, but knows he has to work at it.
Needless to say, it has been a crazy slew of days, but wow am I MUCH happier than I was in my last post!! :)
Quote of Today:
He's not perfect. You aren't either and the two of you will never be perfect.
But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can.
He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break.
Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give.
Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there.
Love hard when there is love to be had.
Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you.