Tuesday, March 26, 2013
I've done it, finally, said good-bye to the scale. I haven't hidden it yet, but I will if I have to. I have sabatoged too many good days by hopping onto the scale first thing in the morning, and feeling defeated instantly. I decided I'm going to go by other things, like how my clothes fit, energy levels and overall spark to determine how I feel about my progress. If I can keep the spark burning with fitness, and nutrition for a few month I might weigh myself, maybe, maybe not. I'd rather go by clothes, and overall energy levels instead of a number on the scale. I am so tired of defining myself by that number and either mentally punishing or rewarding myself based on that number. It is maddening, and I'm over it. I've weighed myself nearly everyday for over a year now, and it's been quite a huge hangup for me. I knew it was a problem, but now I'm finally ready to do something about it. I think this is a really great step for me. I've read many blogs from sparkers who have done the same thing, and had success, so that is my plan. I'm not sure what positive motivation I will use for my new ticker, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. I really just need to see myself, and my SLOW progress as positive so that I can move forward. And weighing myself everyday, and being fixated on the number on the scale is not helping me, at all. I must get beyond that and into a mindset that takes into account various aspects of my whole health, not just my weight.
I worked with a young girl recently, who weighs over 100 pounds more than I do, and she lost 100 pounds recently. I learned so much from her about self esteem and true beauty. Although she is quite a bit heavier than me, she is absolutely beautiful on the inside and out. She is in a very loving relationship, and has tons of friends. She is busy socially in the community and is always getting invited to do things. She is a great person, in countless ways. I learned from her, that weight is just a number that doesn't mean anything unless you let it. I am not going to let my weight determine my self worth anymore. I am a great person, at any weight. I want to be healthier, and I'm never giving up on that, but as of today I am done letting my weight, or the scale make or break my self esteem, and negatively affect my days, and relationships.
I am hoping that this freedom will allow me to open up to the natural process of wanting to be healthy based on things that really affect my life, like capabilities, energy levels and self esteem. When I am living healthy, I feel better about myself, it's that easy. It doesn't matter what I weigh, as long as I am choosing healthy activities on a daily basis that make me feel like I am treating myself and my body the way I deserve............which means not kicking myself everytime my weight fluctuates a few ounces.
OK, that feels better to get that out. I have read multiple articles on this topic.....and it finally sunk in. I think my self worth amounts to much more than what my scale reads.............it's just simple really.
Here's to new ways to love ourselves, our whole selves, regardless of any reasons we may think we have to feel inferior to what we really are, which is eternally divine.