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    COLEYMERRY   8,529
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On self hatred

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Okay, in the past I have posted about self love and today I'm thinking about self hatred. The negative self talk is easy to come by and far more cruel and incessant than the commentary we would offer anyone else. Merciless. Whether it's self critique about appearance, performance, value or relationship interactions the inner voice has something to say.
I knew a man once who named the critic as a way of separating that from himself. I don't know if he called it Marvin or Caleb or simply "critic," but he wanted to remind himself that it was something outside of him, attacking him, through him. I'm not sure if I expressed that clearly. Once he separated it from himself he recognized the negative voice and felt free to contradict it with the truth.


"I'm fat"---marvin
"I've lost x amt of lbs since I started. I'm making progress. ---truth

"I screw everything up"----marvin
"I'm new at this and learning from my mistakes"-----truth

I heard another man speak on this issue. He said that we are God's creation and that if we can appreciate the beauty in nature and can credit it to him as excellent artwork-we insult our maker when we go on and on about how horrible what he made has become.

Hatred is the motivation for murder and often times self hatred is the motivator in suicide. If someone is there to cause harm...steal, kill or destroy-do we want to allow our bodies to be used for that either towards others or ourselves. If hatred makes us bitter when it is aimed at others, does it make us less bitter to be angry with ourselves? What if we agreed that our body, mind and abilities are something divinely created and of value? I'm just thinking on this. I haven't overcome this personally...but I don't think I ever will unless I challenge myself on it.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
AY_BEAUTIFUL89 3/30/2013 5:37PM

    This is beautifully written. Truth be told, I think we all have that critic that feeds us negativity. Entertaining that voice is what causes depression and dissatisfaction. I used to eat and sleep with "the critic" almost regularly. She's gone now, though I'll admit she likes to visit every now and then.

Society is the reason behind so many of our problems. We feed ourselves unrealistic views and try to reach unrealistic goals. Society gives us no room for imperfection or mistakes. We are imperfect beings until God returns and bestows perfection upon us. Therefore, I don't beat myself up for not having the perfect skin or curviest figure.

We have to learn to love ourselves and, most importantly, love God. If He were really at the center of our lives, we wouldn't suffer from dissatisfaction the way that we do. If God were our everything, and we know that He loves us, accepts us and will do anything for us, we would be truly joyful, happy and at peace.

Because we care so much for society and our everything's are people and friends, when they see flaws or don't approve, we feel sad and discouraged.

We are all beautiful and the only thing we need to strive to be is the best "us" that we can. Not the best Madonna, Beyonce or Einstein.

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COLEYMERRY 3/26/2013 1:53PM

    As I'm thinking about renaming the critic I'm realizing picking the name of someone in the past who was unkind to us is a way to make us more willing to argue with it :)

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MOMTO2HEINZS 3/26/2013 1:38PM

    Very interesting way to put it!! emoticon Now to think of a name for that mean voice...

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  Embrace truth. Telling ourselves lies only hurts us, doesn't it?

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BIGDOG18 3/26/2013 1:29PM


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