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    JAYNINNE   25,583
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Heartache


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Last night I went out to dinner with my family for my birthday. Oddly enough, I didn't want to go. I didn't even want to hang out with them. I just wanted to go home and be left alone. I wanted to try cooking some chicken in my new skillet. I wanted to get some more cleaning done. I wanted to just chill and read a book or play a video game or watch a movie...

But my family wanted to celebrate my birthday, probably because that's what they thought I wanted. I tried to keep my spirits up, but I was cranky. It didn't help that Dad was cranky too and all he did was complain. I just kept quiet and waited for it to be over. I went to bed at a decent time and I feel rested today, but still crabby.

Tonight I agreed to visit my aunt and uncle to play some Euchre. I love playing Euchre, but I have a feeling tonight is going to be an awful lot like last night. Me stuck doing something I really don't want to, just because it seems to please others. Story of my life.

Regardless of those plans, I am still running tonight, and I am still cooking my chicken in my pan and eating at home. I think it will be nice enough to run outside, so that will save me the effort of going to the gym.

*le sigh* My boyfriend forgot my birthday. I think he would have let them entire day go by without saying hi if I hadn't said something... which would have been the first day we didn't talk at all since we met. I'm pretty depressed because I think he's losing interest. I should be used to it - I usually am. The last guy I dated, when he lost interest, I didn't really care. But this guy... he's so different and I'm so crazy about him. I've never met anyone like him. He's responsible and smart and fun and handsome and likes a lot of the same things I do and is close with his family and thinks family is important and... Whatever. If I lose him, I will be very hurt. But I guess I'm kind of gearing up for it. Because it feels like it's coming. I know how I act when I've had enough of someone. So when I see that behavior coming from someone else...

insert heartbreaking here

Please please please just let it be overwork, or something else. Please please please don't let him just be done with me.

But at the same time, if it's not going to work out, I want to know sooner than later.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
BEECHNUT13 3/26/2013 10:24PM

    I suck at dating, so I'm not a good person to give advice. But - he might feel like things are going too fast, or was very busy yesterday. Or he may be acting like a douche canoe because guys like to do that. Or he may genuinely not be interested anymore.

What do you do? Don't hang on waiting for him - he needs to know that he has a chance, and if he passes it up, it's his loss. Or just wait on it. Or I don't know...

Meh, friend, this sucks.

Don't worry too soon - it's just one day. He may not want to appear to attached or whatever either.

I'm sorry your birthday wasn't as awesome as it should have been. Miss you, pal. *hugs*

Comment edited on: 3/26/2013 10:25:15 PM

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CDCSMITH2013 3/26/2013 12:40PM

    I think if it is bothering you, you need to say something. You may be right, or maybe not. But either way, knowing has to be better than imagining the worst. Doesn't sound like it was a happy birthday. I hope things improve for you soon.

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ROLLSTAR 3/26/2013 12:38PM

    Oh, my heart hurts for you! I hate that feeling.And I know family time can be a bother, but at least you won't regret NOT spending time with them later on down the road. I hope and pray things get resolved soon!! And good job sticking with your plan to run! I'm sure that God made our bodies to produce endorphins for times just like this. :)

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