UGGGGHHHHH. Okay. It's out of my system. No not really but I'm trying. I have serious food remorse. Yesterday was a total binge day. Gave in to bf's craving for pizza for dinner and ate way too much. I'm frustrated at not being able to say no, especially when I had dinner PLANNED no less, and I'm frustrated because I KNOW it's a trigger food. I cannot have just one slice of pizza. So WHY WHY WHY did I just not give a *blank* yesterday? What was it that went through my mind that thought it would be okay to throw away the day? I had been okay...I was having serious chocolate cravings so I caved and got a cadbury egg to enjoy after lunch. But then I went home and binged on wheat thins. Then bf comes home and wants pizza, and I'm all like sure!? why the heck not. I love pizza.
I could bore you all to death trying to analyze why I gave in, it was so dreary out, I had already made a poor choice for lunch (I caved because I wanted warm soup because it was so rainy/snowy/shi**y out) but it came with bread further fueling my carb cravings (even though it was "whole grain") and the soup was higher in sodium. uggh. Or maybe it was because I was still recovering from the weekend, Saturday was pretty bad. We took a long walk but ended up going out to dinner to this so incredibly delicious but so incredibly unhealthy southern food style place. Yup cornbread baskets, fried chicken, pulled pork, omg mouthwatering. Then we also got dessert at this little coffee shop/ bakery that we had been wanting to check out.
I do believe in having an indulgent/cheat meal per week. However, this really shouldn't turn into two meals, or a whole day, plus dessert, of cheating. I really struggle with this once I've been "bad." So maybe this bad meal set off my cravings and I'm still trying to combat them. Hence yesterday's wheat thin and pizza binge. Yet another problem: if I am to allow myself one cheat meal per week, I already had it this week (and way too close to Saturday's cheat) and we have an Easter Brunch planned for Sunday.
And to top things off I didn't work out either. I was just too tired and so not motivated. I just. wanted. to. EAT. and it's not even TOM! So frustrated with myself.
And no offense but please don't say I'm being too hard on myself. I need to process why I gave in so easily and just turn it around, get over it, and move forward.
I did make one good decision yesterday, I went to the in-building store wanting to satisfy my cravings, salt and chocolate, but I went down there, I convinced myself I wasn't hungry, and lo and behold they had a food scale and I bought it! But that one decision didn't stop me from the wheat thins and pizza binge later.
Breathe. Plan of attack to move on. The rest of the week I WILL be within calorie range, on the lower end, and workout daily (inclusive of PT on Tuesday, extra with PT on Thursday). That is five days. I can do five days. Sunday I will enjoy my Easter Brunch, and eat healthy the rest of the day. And hopefully take a nice walk or something afterwards.
My other goals will be to eat exactly every three hours, allotting 200 ish calories per snack/small meal, with dinner being slightly higher. Then I will brush my teeth immediately after dinner before my sweet tooth kicks in and I give in.
In other news, I wanted to "test" my knees, and on Saturday since it was so beautiful out we took a nice long walk. Well my knees didn't hold up. 80ish min of walking and knee pain started. grrrr will tell PT today, hopefully she won't yell at me
What are your goals to stay on track this week? Let's do this.