I'm my own worst critic
Monday, March 25, 2013
Let me be clear...I am a motivator. I am inspirational. I'll be the first to tell you how awesome you are and how great you're doing. Heck I am everyone's biggest cheer leader. I will encourage and find the positive in EVERY situation. I am that person you want to avoid when you want to wallow in self pity but the first person you go to when you just can't find the silver lining. Truth is, I always see the silver lining. I am one of those sickingly positive people who will always be positive.
SO WHY IN THE SAM HELL AM I SO MAD AT MYSELF OVER .6 POUNDS......... HALF A FREAKING POUND!
I woke up this morning super excited. I was super exceited to see that 2 pound weight loss I knew I earned....and there it was staring at me...laughing at me really. I lost 1.4 pounds. Now if at this point you're thinking "this girl is crazy." You would be right.
I know 1.4 pounds is huge. I would be the first to jump up and down for anyone who lost 1.4 pounds but when I saw it this morning I cried. I was mad because I worked hard and then I was even madder because I didn't work as hard as I could of. I slacked off a couple days. Ate under my calories more days than I didn't and basically treated myself like crap this week. It's a miracle I lost what I did. So then of course the only logical way of thinking was to be mad that I lost 1.4 pounds...I didn't earn it.
Sounds crazy I know but man did I have one of those days. We all know those days. Where you feel crazy and you forget why you started this whole thing in the first place. I mean honestly, sitting on my couch was a lot easier than running a 5k. In fact it was pretty great.
Except I didn't start this because I was happy on the couch. I started this because I wanted my outside to match my inside. I started this because I want to live to have a 50th anniversary with my husband. I started this because I want to see my son have children. I started this because I wanted to inspire people with more than my words, and if for one second I forget all that....I will have another day like today.
The number on the scale shouldn't dictate my attitude and it sure as hell isn't going to dictate my happiness. I dictate how I feel and I feel pretty freaking fantastic.
Have a blessed and joyful evening everyone!