Monday, March 25, 2013
I've never loved the mirror - thick or thin, going to work or a swim meet, not even prepping for my wedding have I EVER concerned myself with a mirror. In fact, I never realized how oblivious I am to reflections until one of my best friends developed the habit of stopping at every single object reflecting light - windows, cell phones, puddles, you name it. That was when I realized I avoid mirrors. I'd like to say this is a confidence thing. That I am so self-assured in my appearance that it's superficial nuances don't mean anything, but alas that would be lying.
Throughout literature the mirror is a symbol for beauty, metaphorically revealing the inner core of a woman who is evil or otherwise, and provides commentary on the price tag of youthful innocence and, yes, even the superficial definition of being "the fairest of them all". I force this down my students' throats, asking them to consider all its intended meanings and purposes and yet here I am facing my own metaphor within the mirror.
I digress. This whole blog is a digression really.
I hate the mirror in the gym locker room.
My confidence has been improving. I'm beginning to take pride in my accomplishments and as a result my appearance. Something I clearly wasn't doing if it took me 2 years to realize the marks on my stomach were stretch marks not waistband indentations. I've been trying to wear more color, stand taller, accessorize... I've lost 30 pounds and it's something I should be proud of.
And yet this stupid mirror is not playing fair. I do not look like that in my bathroom mirror, or my bedroom mirror, or even the work bathroom mirror. This mirror is mocking me every afternoon as I change for my workout. Not to say I'm now checking myself out in mirrors; I still very much prefer a quick glance to make sure I don't have any spinach in my teeth (seriously) and move on. But this mirror has got to be some weird psycho-influential motivational tool the gym employs. I only wish it was motivational for the gym not it's own blog entry.
I think I'll be changing in a different section of the locker room from now on.