finding my way back
Monday, March 25, 2013
Determined - Tenacious - Relentless - Never Give Up - etc.....
These were words/phrases that described me on my initial journey of weight loss.
That began in June of 2005 - but in 2010 I was diagnosed with cancer and an aneurysm of the left aorta.
I reached my goal of 190 in Aug of 2009 - 4 years and 3 months of pushing, tugging, sweat and, yes, tears!!!
But 7 months later I got a grueling report from the doctor. God was so faithful in sustaining me and my family during the next year. I went thru 2 rounds of chemo, I 6 week treatment of radiation and open heart surgery. God not only sustained us - He blessed us, carried us, loved us, and showed Himself so faithful and so strong - it was His strength we had to rely on of course.
My treatment ended in Feb 2011. My weight was still in maintenance range - I was elated thinking I had "beat the odds". Oh the miracles we witnessed all that time - it was a very exciting time for all of us - It truly was the best of times AND the worst of times!!!!
In April though I had a personal devastating blow. You might wonder, what in the world could be worse than what I had just gone through?
I wonder if it hadn't come on the heels of a year long medical journey maybe it wouldn't have affected me so. But I was still weak from the journey and like I said - it was a devastating personal blow.
The rug was literally pulled out from under me. This hit me so close to home that the household was in complete turmoil for sometime.
Emotional eating was the medication of choice. I was hurt beyond words. The chemo definitely left its side effects - This emotional issue compounded those side effects.
I am being brutally honest - with you but most importantly - myself.
I want to put on my big girl pants, give my wounds to God and recover from all this.
My Spark friends have helped me in so many ways - so many times - it is not easy for me to reach out to you - I am an introvert - to the extreme!!!
Thanks for listening