Monday, March 25, 2013
I have admittedly be a little lax on myself lately about exercise and exact nutrition which officially ended yesterday, I had allowed myself to take some time to still eat healthy and remember my morals while moving and getting back to situated. Well I am all situated and it is high time to get back to counting the calories and exercise.
I started this journey on lean cuisines pretty much, I know those aren’t the best choice ever but I feel if that is what the first step takes then it’s a lot better than not starting at all. Now I find myself not liking any of the lean cuisines I find myself starting to crave fresher stuff like my body just knows what it should be wanting and needed now. So I still have my certain weight loss and fitness goals for this month but a new goal is to really try to pre-prepare my lunches instead of eating lean cuisines it just sounds so much better.
I was reading a book not long ago about overcoming yourself, your fears and weakness to be specific and in that book it said that you should give identity to those parts of you that start to speak negatively and call them out, at first I thought this only promotes craziness (and this may be true but it’s my kinda crazy) but it is actually so you can physically call that part of yourself out and tell it to stop, take away its power. As mean as it may sound I refer to the voice/feeling in me that starts to tell me I am bored or sad so I should eat a tub of ice-cream to feel better “Katie’s inner fat kid” at first this started out as me loathing my inner fat kid after bingeing by saying “why’d you make me do that inner fat kid…why?” slowly but surely I am now able to accept that fat kid part of me, yes she loves all that is bad for our body but she is a fun gal and knows how to enjoy things….just too much for too long. In other words Katie’s inner fat kid needs to learn moderation and to eat to live not live to eat.
Yesterday was a pretty hard day emotionally, on my way to a friend’s house I stopped off at a convenience store, my sister was with me and knew emotionally I was upset so she suggested we get an ice cream… normally my inner fat kid would have eaten that ice cream until I couldn’t feel feelings or the rest of my body.. but yesterday she was quiet it was just me dealing with my emotions in a healthy way, I told my sister that food would not make the situation better it would only make me feel worse in the long run and that I can cope without it.
See as crazy as it sounds I needed to put a name to that part of me and over time constantly address/ teach my inner fat kid that I am not going to keep doing this and handling things in a harmful way. That food is fuel, it can be enjoyed of course, but not used to medicate myself.
The thing I have noticed about people going through or maintaining their weight loss is everyone mentions the mental and emotional changes they have noticed more than anything. Something about having to face down everything about you that got you to where you are and got you on the road to changing. Behold the things you learn about yourself on this this crazy epic journey.
Although I know I haven’t seen the last of my inner fat kid it has gotten a lot easier to tell her no and chose to handle things healthier. So to anyone struggling with their inner fat kid, I totally understand.