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    LANCE992   42,283
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A little laughter before bedtime...it may make you wet your pants...

Sunday, March 24, 2013

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

Finally, the guys' side of the story..

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

0A1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, You probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as CARS, the shotgun formation, or actual shotguns.


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARBARASDIET 3/27/2013 3:56PM

    cute

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TRACYLYNN853 3/25/2013 5:19PM

    Funny!

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BETHS60 3/25/2013 11:42AM

    It reminds me of a conversation I had with my husband last year. It started, "I know we've been married 28 years, and I know you don't really listen when I talk. But there are 3 things that you HAVE to listen to. The rest of the time, you can continue to pretend you are paying attention...."

I read parts of this to my husband. He says that you are right and I have to stop bringing up stuff he said 30 years ago. :-) It gives me something to work on...

emoticon

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THE_SHAKESHAFT 3/25/2013 2:12AM

    Hehehe

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PAMNANGEL 3/25/2013 12:01AM

    You do realize Christopher Columbus only found the Americas because he was lost!

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JMSA67 3/24/2013 11:17PM

    That was funny. I always say "I don't care if you don't put the seat back down, so long as you DID put it up before going." I grew up with three brothers, the seat was never down.

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MOMSFIVE1028 3/24/2013 11:01PM

    ROFL....I laughed so hard....then had to read it to my husband.

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