Sunday, March 24, 2013
I was sooooo happy when I could accurately update my status and proudly change my icon to the Lost 40 Pounds icon. Right about now, that seems like a long time ago. I've gained 20 of those pounds back - most within a 5 month period. It seemed gradual -- yet constant or habitual.
I recognized the error of some of my ways: increased stress, less activity/exercise, taking in more calories, increased food portions, poorer food choices and did I mention the increased stress? On top of the increased stress, I had weight gain, which really does not help with one's self-esteem, no matter how one tries to spin it. I didn't want to exercise. I ate, didn't want to exercise after eating and was often mentally exhausted from the work day, plus full from having eaten. I didn't ALWAYS overeat, but I'd frequently go to bed on a full stomach (not like Thanksgiving full) and didn't always make the best food choices and definitely could have done better with my portion sizes.
I was in a funk. I recognize this. I recognized this at the time, but could/did not stop myself from decline. The whole time I continued to gain weight, I did not change from the Lost 40 Pounds icon. It gave the appearance to others that all was well. It looked good to have others be able to see this. I was great when it was true. But for someone who had some kind of motion from week to week on my sliding scale of progress to no motion for quarters at a time, it stopped feeling as good to have this false advertising promoting me.
Needless to say, it's been changed to reflect my current loss range. Back to 20 pounds lost. I'm still not highly motivated to lose weight again, yet. But I think I'm getting closer to not gaining anymore right now. Whew! If I'm not gonna lose, stop gaining. Ya know??
It's easy for me to be long-winded, but I'll sum part of this up to say there have been some changes that have happened in my life, both personal and professional of late. More professional. The thing is, the bottom line lies with me. Change will always be a part of my life. I need to get that work/life balance figured out no matter what it throws my way.
I'm not quite back at, "Let's go get'em!" mindset, but I wouldn't consider me in a funk anymore. I'm planning for success again -- now if I could get me to implement. . . Lol!! I'm a work in progress and I will get there, just not overnight.