Sunday, March 24, 2013
I'm still sugar free most days. I've lost weight (yeah!) Most of it's because of my determination to remain sugar free, but I think some of it's because I've been sick for a few days. On the other hand, if I wasn't so resilient in my determination to remain sugar free, I would have given in to "comfort foods" while I was sick, or gone back to my old habits of eating CRAP even though I was sick (and even though I wasn't hungry). That was just sick, sick, sick (and I mean that in the emotional sense.)
However, today, I was feeling a little bit better, and I really wanted some sweets. I had been planning for about 24 hours that today-TODAY-I deserved to have some sweets. (why? I don't know why. Maybe because I lost some weight? Maybe because I haven't had any in quite some time....maybe just because). So I walked into a store. And a looked and looked. And found some yummy ice cream. Small container. Walked around the store with it in my hand. Then decided it wasn't worth it. I could find other ways of meeting my sweet tooth.
There will be another day and another battle. I fought it Friday in the drugstore. And won. Fought it today. And won. I don't know what makes me think that I "deserve" these sweets.
I deserve to treat myself with dignity and respect, and sugary ice cream and Oreos never did that to me.
I'll also say this. One complaint I have about being a fat person is that, as impossible as it seems, I am often invisible to people. People have no respect for me because of my weight. I remember a number of years ago I lost alot of weight, people treated me so differently. Like a different person, you might say. Sad, but true. (when I "went back on" sugar and wheat, I gained all the weight back, and then some)
I know that God wants me to eat healthy. I know that my body houses His Holy Spirit, therefore, it is holy, therefore I must treat it with respect. There is nothing wrong with sugar in and of itself, but, for me, I, (humanly) have a tough time handling it. (I want it all the time!), so, for now, I'll get my sweets other ways (Stevia, fruit, etc). I want to honor God. I know He has plans for me.