accept and slowing down...
Sunday, March 24, 2013
so these past few days have been ok for me. water i drink like crazy anyway so keeping it up wasnt that much of a challenge.
i have been thinking of things as one step at a time, instead of jumping in with both feet and drowning. one step, one choice. normally if i "messed up" it would be like one of those movie scenes where the world is ending with the actor on his knees screaming nooooooooo, but i am doing my best to remind myself its just one day and one decision at a time. i havent felt as bad or guilty about it, there is still at little guilt there but not like it was. it used to be that i would mess up, then my whole day would be ruined and i would binge. but that hasnt been happening, hopefully i can keep those feelings away.
today and yesterday i have done my best to measure portions and eat slowly. it takes a lot of concentration on my part but i am managing. growing up i was very active in sports, with marching band being the main focal point of my life, so i grew up eating on the go, and eating my meals in less that three minutes since food isnt allowed on the bus. and that has carried over into my adult life, especially as a very active nurse im used to woofing things down on the go. i need to stop, thats a big issue. today i measured the portions and the smaller amount of food still filled me up. today i havent had the uncomfortably full feeling, i havent had the munchies either. i honestly have eaten a little something probably every 2-3 hours and its been just a little bit but enough to keep me satisfied. plus at four in the evening im not even over 700 calories. its been some healthier choices and then some "normal food" too, like we had chicken and dumplings for lunch but my cup filled me up and i wasnt too stuffed.
one kinda weird thing i noticed today too is that i have a "skinny" feeling. i feel skinny. i know im not skinny but i feel skinny lol i wonder if that makes sense to anyone or if anyone else has felt that way before. my body feels good my insides feel good, i feel skinny lol, thats the only way i know to explain it.
so far for the week i havent ran but 30 min on the treadmill (im planning on running after this blog) but i remind myself that nothing ever changed in a day and that if i take things slowly that the changes will be more permanent than before. it took a while to build rome, took years to get to space, it took a while to get me fat. so its gonna take some time to get me fit and healthy. its a process that happens over time not over night, i have to keep reminding myself that .
but today is a good day :)