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    _RAMONA   48,243
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints

Dear Women of the World...

Sunday, March 24, 2013

...this blog comes to you via my friend, Craig Harper
(THANK YOU, Craig!)....

Sit up, clear your mind, take a deep breath, and let the words settle into your heart:

"This morning I coached an intelligent, attractive, funny, well-educated, professional woman. She is thirty-ish and lives with a constant sense of “I’m not good enough”. It you were to meet her, you’d never pick it. But then things aren’t always as they seem. The cover is not the book. The marketing is not the product. Over the years, I have coached many women just like her so off the back of today’s session, I felt compelled to reach out to my female readers – and anyone else that you feel compelled to share this message with. If you’re a bloke, you can come back tomorrow. Or, if you’re a smart bloke, you can pay attention and learn something.


"Dear Women of the World…

"Despite what some of you have been led to believe, I want you to know that you are enough. Even when you don’t think it, feel it or know it. You are more than enough, in fact. Attractive enough. Smart enough. Talented enough. Courageous enough. Strong enough. Good enough.




"Now, I know that based on some of your experiences this message might be hard to believe (deep down) but I also want you to know that your self-worth should only be determined by you. You can, of course, allow other people to do it for you but we all know that never ends well; so I don’t recommend it.

"Sadly, some people want you to believe you’re not enough because that’s how they endeavour to control, manipulate and/or defeat you. Such people are full of self-serving sh!t. They are smiling scumbags. Ignore them. Recognise them for what they are (and are not) and do not give away your power. Some people don’t want you to be empowered, confident or courageous. They don’t want you to tap into your considerable potential. It scares them. They don’t want you to think, create, choose or learn for yourself. It doesn’t suit their selfish agenda. They too are purveyors of toxic crap.

"* Of course, there are also many people who are generous, kind and selfless. *

"By the way, if you don’t know how powerful you are then the problem lies not in your power but rather, your understanding of, and belief in, your power. It’s there but it’s impotent until you do something with it. Take it for a test drive. The thing that invariably stops people from exploring, exploiting and embracing their power and potential is fear; which invariably manifests itself in the form of negative self-talk.... or self-loathing.

"As a rule, it’s in your interest to be conscious and careful about who you let into your head and your heart. Who you pay attention to. Who you respect and trust. Like other pests, some people are very hard to remove once they’ve moved in.

"Of course people will label, treat and assess you in less-than-desirable ways; it’s what people do. Well, some people. Even in the middle of my moderate success, I’ve been labeled everything from egotistical, arrogant and ignorant to fat, ugly and stupid. As a small relatable example, some people hate the fact that I often talk and write about behavioural psychology (like right now) without being a psychologist. It bothers them. Fortunately for me, I don’t need a psychology degree or anyone’s permission to encourage, support and coach people towards their best lives. To the haters I say, stop wasting your negative energy on me and do something positive in your own world.

"Or f*ck off.

"Despite being called Jumbo all through school (a reference to my obese body), I chose to work in the ‘body industry’. Apart from it being empowering and liberating for me, I wanted to help people over-ride their destructive fears and beliefs and to let go of their painful past. I wanted to help them understand how much more than a body, a bad experience or a negative label they are and to support them in the exploring of their potential. If I allowed other people’s opinions of me to determine me, I would never say anything, do anything, create anything or achieve anything.

"In fact, I’d never be out of therapy.

"As a man in awe of the power, strength, wisdom, compassion and beauty of women, it hurts me to see such amazing potential attached to so little self-belief and self-esteem. Despite the outer semblance of ‘girl power’, when I scratch the surface, what I often see is many brilliant and talented women who are paralysed by fear, poor self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy.

"If you relate to this message then I’m well aware that one post from me ain’t gonna undo years of damage, painful experiences or self-doubt. I’m also aware that me telling you you’re amazing and powerful doesn’t instantly make you ‘feel’ amazing and powerful. Of course it doesn’t. But hopefully it might interrupt that incessant negative internal dialogue. Even for a while. Maybe it will help you realise that your negative feelings and thoughts don’t need to become your literal reality. And perhaps over time you will begin to tell yourself better stories.

"Healthier stories.

(but only if you feel compelled to change, and only if the changes reflect your own enthusiasms and passions, and only in directions that speak to who you are and all you want your life to reflect)

"Changing your default setting and your internal dialogue from “I am crap” to “I am okay” to “I am pretty freakin’ awesome”, is not a quick process but the good news is, it’s possible. Totally possible. If I’m someone who you trust, respect and pay attention to as a writer and mentor, then pay attention (and don’t over-think it) when I tell you that you are…

"… enough.

(Craig's invitation...)
"If you think this message will benefit someone you know, please feel free to share it any way you see fit.

About Craig Harper:

Craig's Blog:
(read the above ORIGINAL TEXT here)

A little more Craig...

(Are we really so broken?)

...Because YOU are ENOUGH!



'BEFORE' Pictures (May 31, 2009 - September, 2011) & Continuing PROGRESS (February 2012)! Next pictures DECEMBER 1, 2012!

(I'm now keeping these right under my nose... in addition to being part of every blog I post, they are printed off and taped to my bedroom mirror... and I update whenever I feel the need - likely early February, 2013... to either see for myself what feel like significant changes, or to encourage myself to keep the faith when I feel no change at all despite my efforts)

Measurements, Musings & Motivation to MOVE!

(UPDATED/rewritten: JUNE, 2012)

I've Reached My Goal Weight!!!!!!!

NOTE: My weight tracker is NOT a truthful representation of my weight. Instead, I am using it as a tool to help me visualize my goal as though it's already been achieved!
(Tom Venuto)

UNTIL. (My 'Just Do It' blog)

DONE Girl Love...

(the footsteps into which I place my own feet)

Leaving NORMAL... In Pursuit of Happiness

Why I'm STILL here... my SparkJourney Saga


Words CAN Be Enough... page 3

Paleo... Do you really know what you're talking about?

Breakfast is Served! (RECIPES)


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SCENIC_ROUTE 4/11/2013 12:52PM

    Thank you for sharing! It was what I needed to hear (read) today emoticon emoticon

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CJBAGGINS 4/7/2013 7:30PM

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful blog with us, Ramona! The world is full of fabulous men like him - I'm glad you let us read a message from one of them!

He is so right. We need to believe that we are ENOUGH. Right now. Just like this.


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JIBBIE49 4/1/2013 7:04PM

    As my four sons have told me "Men judge women completely by their looks." Not fair, but they say it is just the truth.

Happy April.

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SUNNYSEAS 3/29/2013 10:10AM


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1PEACEBUNNY 3/26/2013 12:29PM

    Everyone can get something from this even the most confident woman. Because we all at some point have felt inferior, not seen, not enough and some days we still do. So it was well worth the read. I started saying when I was just out of teen years...know your worth and now that I am older I know that that was so cookie cutter of me and young. The truth is so many people will never know their worth if they were never valued of never learned of God's love for them. So as I get older, I 've adjusted that line to learn your worth and love god firts, yourself 2nd and everyone else last cause if you can't love the first 2 then you can't love anyone else. So thanks for sharing this. emoticon

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 3/25/2013 8:31AM

  informative blog with lots of relevant info thanks

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RITZIBROWN 3/25/2013 7:43AM

    emoticon . Once again you've spoken out in order for so many women to find their truth.
Love & Hugs,


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BEANIES_MOM 3/25/2013 6:15AM


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NKOUAMI26 3/25/2013 5:33AM

    Beautiful blog

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NORWOODGIRL 3/24/2013 8:31PM

    This is a hugely important blog! I hope many women read it, recognize themselves, and respond positively to its message. Thank you.

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    Well said. emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 3/24/2013 4:40PM

    Fantastic!!!! I have liked this and hope enough do so more can read it, and shared it with my friends.
THANKS and again awesome. I AM ENOUGH!!!

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KKLENNERT809 3/24/2013 4:25PM

    A very Positive and uplifting blog. Yes, I can do it!! Thank you!

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NEW-CAZ 3/24/2013 2:24PM

    Wonderful blog Ramona, so often we devalue ourselves.

We are worth it!!!

Thank you for sharing, love to you and the divine Miss O emoticon

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MTP717 3/24/2013 2:19PM

  Thank you! Thank you so much for posting this. Really needed this. Love your blogs. Keep them coming. : )

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GIRLINMOTION 3/24/2013 1:41PM

    Thank you for sharing! It is a wonderful reminder that we are added value to the world and not to forget that.

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4TAI4REX4ME 3/24/2013 1:30PM

    LOVE IT! I needed this... emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 3/24/2013 1:24PM

    I know you wrote this just for me! (No, I am not that self-centric, but it does speak to me!)

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