60,000-79,999 SparkPoints 63,873

Not My Best Week

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Weight is up one pound this week. No surprises there. I have not been able to get a strong wheat-free (and related binge-free) streak going since the first week I started this experiment. Here's what happened on Friday:

Actually, my downfall came even earlier than this when my boss came by my desk and suggested we go out to lunch. Now, I had packed myself a healthy, satisfying lunch with plenty of snack options - chicken, baby carrots, cottage cheese, pineapple slices. I usually bring my lunch every day when I go to the office; it helps me stick with a budget, create a meal plan that supports my nutritional goals, and - most importantly - I know exactly what I'm going to be eating. No wheat surprises.

However, given that I recently started this job and desperately want to build a good relationship with my supervisor, I automatically said yes. I was confident in my ability to go out to lunch and still make good choices.

She suggested a Tex-Mex restaurant not too far from the office, and I knew I was in trouble when they put chips on the table. Fresh, warm, fried tortilla chips and salsa. I can never say no to one... or twenty. I ignored the chips and focused on the menu, trying to determine what I would feel proud of myself at the end of the day for choosing, and feeling pretty good about settling on a Blackened Salmon salad with an herb vinaigrette dressing. But once our orders were taken, my boss began eating the chips. And then I began to worry that she would find it strange if I were not also eating chips.

(Yup. It sounds ridiculous to me now, also.)

So I figured it would be ok to eat a few. I was saved by the relatively quick delivery of our meals, but still continued to snack on the chips even after my salad came. When we returned to the office, I began rethinking my meal plan for the rest of the day, and figured that even though I'd need to start over with a new Wheat-Free Day 1, I could still maintain my Binge-Free streak.

And that's when I walked into the break room. Italian cookies in a wide range of colors and varieties. Chocolate cake with mountains of frosting. Stacy's Pita Chips. I ate it all. Ugh, it was such a fiasco. The whole time, that little voice was telling me I'd pay for it later (please get louder, prefrontal cortex):

How was I going to get my last training run after work - before my 10k ( https://wheatontrial.wor
) - on a full, bloated belly? How was I going to fare during the actual race? How would I feel when I get on the scale this weekend and see those numbers taking me farther away from my goals? What about the years of anxiety, the skin/hair concerns, and all of the non-scale related issues I am hoping to finally conquer?

All these thoughts, yet none strong enough to stop me from eating this junk. The past is just that, though - and with my renewed strength coming out of my race yesterday, I'm ready to think a little bit differently. My new goal is 21 days - three weeks of remaining wheat-free. I know it will be difficult - but I also know that with each passing day, it will get easier. I know that if I fail to plan, I plan to fail. So here's my plan:

- Revisit this particular post when I'm feeling weak;
- Treat myself to some dessert tea; or
- Step out of the office and treat myself to something different - yet satisfying (like one of the carb/protein combinations that Dr. Peeke shared https://wheatontrial.wor

Other ideas and suggestions welcome.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    While the entirety of this article might not be helpful, the very first paragraph has helped me with moments of weakness since I read it.
    Here's to embracing a "dogmatic" approach to food and wellness!
    1643 days ago
    Thanks to all! I really am motivated and encouraged by your comments!

    lindiemae - I do love to read! I have a few on the list - Wheat Belly, Carb Addicts, and I will add Geneen Roth to the list. Right now, I have to finish Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol (due back to the library soon!) haha.

    Oolala - cornmeal products are not recommended on the wheat belly plan. And they are a binge trigger. Can't eat just one! Anyway, I do welcome you sharing your own experiences, and it's fine to have difference of opinion. Just whatever it is I have been doing over these last 10 years hasn't worked. Trying to nail down the solution once and for all.

    Changethegards - shaping up to be a pretty good wheat-free/binge-free day 2 here. Hoping that the "inner voice" gets stronger with each day!

    1644 days ago
    Congratulations on your new goal! Like any addiction, going cold turkey is so hard. You're making some serious strides - knowing that this is an addiction for you, recognizing those triggers when they appear, hearing your inner voice and being able to reflect on it and say "that was a moment of clarity - I should have listened" or "that was a moment of irrationality - I should have shut that out".
    All I can say is, keep going. You have me, an I'm sure other readers, who are taking this journey with you emotionally. We're all rooting for you!
    1644 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    It actually takes a few YEARS to make food changes that will last. That's why it's so important for us to choose plans that allow for flexibility while providing guidelines that will truly help us limit our overall food intake permanently.

    I have to say I don't understand what the problem was with the chips. Weren't they corn chips and not wheat anyway? You hadn't really broken your plan.

    I used to be a big-time binger and sugar freak. Do I still overeat sweets and even bread sometimes? Yes, but so much less that I consider my eating very manageable. I had done and even succeeded for as long as six months at a time at much more drastic strategies for as long as 6 months at a time. I always thought my problems were over, and I could eat like that forever. But I was wrong, and I ate even worse later.

    You really can learn not to be at the effect of all the food that is available in our culture without giving them all up. In fact, the great majority of people who do lose and maintain don't give up any foods, though they may eat them much less frequently, and certainly in smaller portions. There may be foods that drop out because they just don't get any satisfaction from them anymore. (I once asked on the Maintainers team here on Spark what foods they had cut out. No one had cut out any food.) That's true of bingers, too. People bringing extra food and sweets at work is not really a problem for me now. If a dessert looks really outstanding. I'll take a piece and freeze it for when I can work it in and really enjoy it. And I used to be the one going back over and over.

    I just say all this because I know you're disappointed with yourself that you can't seem to say no to something that is supposed to solve your problems. emoticon

    I know you've heard from me before. I don't want to be a downer, so please let me know if you feel I'm undermining you. I really am on your side.
    1644 days ago
    It takes a good 3 weeks to get into a routine. It also takes about that long for your body to realise that you've changed it up. Put this all behind you, its done and over, and you've learnt from it, that's what these lessons are all about, pick a target date and tell EVERYONE you are allergic to wheat and gluten and you can not help yourself to that crap anymore. AVOID places that will be triggers for you until your resolve is strong enough that you can look at it and look away. If your into some good books, I suggest Geneen Roth - Breaking Free From Emotional Eating - and a couple of her other books. I have ordered that one as I am an emotional eater and need to learn how to deal with this. Although going wheat free helps immensely, I still crave certain foods, and need to learn to turn those cravings off. Cheers emoticon
    1644 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by BPXDOMINO