Sunday, March 24, 2013
Finally I have had a breakthrough in losing weight. This is the first time since I was in high school that I'm under 300 pounds, and it terrifies me. Every single thing I put in my mouth makes me feel guilty, and then I get discouraged, and I give up for the day. This is the vicious cycle I find myself going back to over and over. I just don't know what to do to make it stop, and it really upsets me. I am happy with the weight I am right now, of course I know for my health I have to lose more, and it feels great when the pounds drop. Until recently, I went through some things in my life. I was homeless for a while, surviving on the kindness of others, and a lot of the time I didn't have a choice but not to eat. I dropped 80 pounds in 7 months from the lack of food, and now that I'm back home with my parents, and I have the freedom to eat when I want, it's hard for me to stop. It's very frustrating. I feel like I'm falling back into old habits that I don't want to. I just want to wake up one day and not feel like I want to eat everything around me. It's hard too, when I'm not the only one buying food in the house, and there are so many things lying around that I really shouldn't eat. I just have to keep reminding myself that every day is a new day. I've done good so far. I had a small bowl of cereal with 2% milk for breakfast, and three glasses of water. I feel comfortable, I just have to keep my hands and my mind busy. I hope to go for a walk later, it's finally seeming to warm up outside. We'll see how things go today. I'm really hoping for the best!