Saturday, March 23, 2013
I went to see Paul today. He still has that sore on his tongue and his throat is still scratchy but not sore like it was. It took them another week from the time I saw him for him to get his prescription because the prescription the Dr. ordered was over $130.00 and the nurse said there were cheaper medicines that were just as effective. Plus the medicine he ordered had alcohol in it and she felt that was unnecessary. Since when does a nurse know more than a Dr. That held the prescription up for 5 days, then it had to be shipped from the hospital to the prison.
I had my Mom with me and she was getting jittery so we stopped at Walmart first to get something for he to eat. By the time we got out of there, she had to shop, it was 2:05. By the time we got to see Paul it was 2:30 and we only had 1/2 hour left. My Mom felt really bad but I told her not to. She had to eat, she has diabetes and I didn't want her to get sick. When it was time to leave I asked Paul to call me when he knows anything and he said they wouldn't let him. That did it. I lost it and just started crying. He can't even sign papers for them to talk to me because then everyone would be calling and asking about their loved one. They will just not talk to anyone. I just hugged him and was crying and the guard said something to me and I snapped at him. Paul did tell me that he would ask the Dr. to call me, but said he didn't know if he would or not.
I told Paul to write home once a week and to keep me informed as to what is going on. I know that he doesn't have much commissary money but I told him I would send him some money. I just hope that he tells me the truth because now he knows that I am worried and he said he never should have told me. He wasn't going to tell me but my Mom noticed that he was having a hard time swallowing. If I don't see with my own eyes, I don't totally believe, and I can't keep running up there. It was 142 miles round trip today. He is totally worth it, I just can't afford it.
On the way home, I had the sudden urge to go to the cemetery and see my Dad. That is what I did. I went by the house I grew up in and the high school and junior high school I went to. I have to remember to tell my Mom that we have to take the stone cleaner the next time we go to the cemetery. His stone needs to be cleaned. I told my Dad to watch out for my son and to watch over all of us. I wish he was here, he would know what to do. He always knew what to do. He wouldn't let anything hurt or anyone hurt his grandson. My Dad would take care of it, I wish he was here to do so. I miss you Dad. While standing there I just felt such peace come over me. I believe everything will work out the way it is suppose to in the time it is suppose to.
In the mean time, I will continue to pray.
So far today I have walked 3,037 or 1.21 miles. I have climbed 7 floors. I haven't even eaten 1000 calories, but I am going to force myself to eat. No use in getting myself sick, won't do Paul any good or anyone else for that matter. Those are the most steps I have done in a day in almost a week.
I want to thank everyone for your concern, prayers and well wishes. Please keep praying. I am still worried but more optimistic.