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    IAMAGEMLOVER   145,197
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Still no answers

Saturday, March 23, 2013

I went to see Paul today. He still has that sore on his tongue and his throat is still scratchy but not sore like it was. It took them another week from the time I saw him for him to get his prescription because the prescription the Dr. ordered was over $130.00 and the nurse said there were cheaper medicines that were just as effective. Plus the medicine he ordered had alcohol in it and she felt that was unnecessary. Since when does a nurse know more than a Dr. That held the prescription up for 5 days, then it had to be shipped from the hospital to the prison.

I had my Mom with me and she was getting jittery so we stopped at Walmart first to get something for he to eat. By the time we got out of there, she had to shop, it was 2:05. By the time we got to see Paul it was 2:30 and we only had 1/2 hour left. My Mom felt really bad but I told her not to. She had to eat, she has diabetes and I didn't want her to get sick. When it was time to leave I asked Paul to call me when he knows anything and he said they wouldn't let him. That did it. I lost it and just started crying. He can't even sign papers for them to talk to me because then everyone would be calling and asking about their loved one. They will just not talk to anyone. I just hugged him and was crying and the guard said something to me and I snapped at him. Paul did tell me that he would ask the Dr. to call me, but said he didn't know if he would or not.

I told Paul to write home once a week and to keep me informed as to what is going on. I know that he doesn't have much commissary money but I told him I would send him some money. I just hope that he tells me the truth because now he knows that I am worried and he said he never should have told me. He wasn't going to tell me but my Mom noticed that he was having a hard time swallowing. If I don't see with my own eyes, I don't totally believe, and I can't keep running up there. It was 142 miles round trip today. He is totally worth it, I just can't afford it.

On the way home, I had the sudden urge to go to the cemetery and see my Dad. That is what I did. I went by the house I grew up in and the high school and junior high school I went to. I have to remember to tell my Mom that we have to take the stone cleaner the next time we go to the cemetery. His stone needs to be cleaned. I told my Dad to watch out for my son and to watch over all of us. I wish he was here, he would know what to do. He always knew what to do. He wouldn't let anything hurt or anyone hurt his grandson. My Dad would take care of it, I wish he was here to do so. I miss you Dad. While standing there I just felt such peace come over me. I believe everything will work out the way it is suppose to in the time it is suppose to.

In the mean time, I will continue to pray.

So far today I have walked 3,037 or 1.21 miles. I have climbed 7 floors. I haven't even eaten 1000 calories, but I am going to force myself to eat. No use in getting myself sick, won't do Paul any good or anyone else for that matter. Those are the most steps I have done in a day in almost a week. emoticon

I want to thank everyone for your concern, prayers and well wishes. Please keep praying. I am still worried but more optimistic. emoticon emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAM_HIS 3/24/2013 6:38PM

    I am praying all the more now for your son and you.

In no way do I think it is weird to talk to your relatives or friends that are now in heaven. They are all the more able to help. After all, they never stop being there for us, we just cannot see them. Now they can intercede in pray for us. I think that is awesome and why not ask for help? Your dad loves you and always wants to help you. He was able to show you that he is still there for you too.

Keep praying and trusting in God.

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DB1167 3/24/2013 4:36PM

    Still thinking of you guys! emoticon

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MILLERISHEALTHY 3/24/2013 1:23PM

    I read your blog from 3/24 before this blog - I wish I had read this one first. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who talks to loved ones at their graves. I also go by the house I grew up in sometimes - I don't know why - I just feel drawn to do it.

I'm sorry you still have no clear answers about Paul's condition. I can't believe they're so cruel as to not even let him call you to let you know what's going on with his health - even with his permission. That just doesn't seem right. I hope Paul will write every week and let you know how he's doing. And please do eat - because as you said, it won't help Paul or you if you get sick.

Hugs and Blessings, emoticon emoticon emoticon

Miller emoticon

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CAROLJEAN64 3/24/2013 1:04PM

    Bonnie, please look in your phone book for a law clinic. There are lawyers who will take on cases like this for little or no fees. It is time to get somebody working as hard for Paul as you are. Sending the light and love of the universe to you, your mom and Paul.

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KEEPITSIMPLE_ 3/24/2013 10:50AM

    Hugs and prayers for you both. Great job on the exercise! Take care of you and your Mom.

emoticon emoticon

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MRS_TOAD 3/24/2013 8:20AM

    My prayers continue for you and Paul. emoticon emoticon

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 3/24/2013 7:21AM

    Prayers and positive thoughts

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JSALERNO 3/24/2013 7:18AM

    emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 3/24/2013 4:14AM

    I'm sorry answers haven't come and know how tense and worried you've been (understandably). How can they deny him his medication- wrong, so wrong!

I'll keep Paul in my prayers Bonnie and hope that his doctor DOES call.

Please look after yourself hun, I know when I'm stressed I either overeat or feel like eating nothing, but you need to be strong.

Sending love and hugs emoticon

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 3/24/2013 2:26AM

    I hope Paul will soon be feeling better. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
HUGS
Pam

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SLIMMERKIWI 3/23/2013 11:54PM

    emoticon

xxx

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LIVEDAILY 3/23/2013 11:31PM

    emoticon
I hope you get some answers soon Bonnie. I know Paul was glad to see you today, as much as you were glad to see him. Keep busy, and continue to take care of yourself. That's important too.

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CHOCOHIPPO 3/23/2013 11:18PM

    My prayers continue to be with you and Paul. Sounds like you got a lot of peace from your visit with your dad. That is wonderful. Continue to take care of yourself and hopefully you'll soon get the answers you seek.

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AJDOVER1 3/23/2013 11:10PM

    My prayers are with you and Paul. Please take care of yourself.

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REBECCATKD 3/23/2013 10:39PM

    Keep holding on!
emoticon

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ROCKRUNNER404 3/23/2013 9:50PM

    emoticon Bonnie. I hope the peace you felt in tht moment today continues to come to you when you need it most. Prayers for your sons health.

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SPARKFRAN514 3/23/2013 9:10PM

    Glad you were able to see Paul. sorry your mom was not feeling well that is hard when you are going to visit and have a long drive to and from to visit. sure hope you get some news soon what is going on with Paul. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 3/23/2013 8:58PM

    I am soooo glad you at least got to see Paul. I remember you and he in my prayers. **SIGH** So frustrating that things can't just go without problems.

Well, hope he gets the care he needs, that he deserves.

HUGS and prayers.

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L*I*T*A* 3/23/2013 8:56PM

    prayers continue for you and yours!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CYALE76 3/23/2013 8:30PM

    Im sorry you didn't get any answers today, I will continue to pray for you and Paul and hopefully very soon you will have some good news. emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 3/23/2013 7:25PM

    I'm so so sorry you have not had any answers you were looking for. I'm glad you mom was with you.. I will continue to pray for you and your son. Hugs my friend!! I'm here if you need to talk. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GARDENSFORLIFE 3/23/2013 7:20PM

    I am praying for you and your family! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHERYE 3/23/2013 7:05PM

    I'm glad you were with you Mom when you visited your son, it's really hard to understand how they could denie him his meds, but they do :'( Please keep us posted on how he is doing, we are all here for you and wish you nothing but love and happiness.


((HUGS))..She
rye

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