Welcome to my blog today. I started blogging this one because I needed more sparkpoints..lol But I'm going to turn it into a fabulous, amazing, one-of-a-kind blog! Ok...so, what to blog about...
Well, I could turn it into a blog about balance. I have a big problem with balance. I'm not sure if the great cosmos did this to me on purpose or just coincidental, but I'm a Libra and my sign has to do with balances and scales. So, again, is this just a big joke that I'm at such odds with myself? Is the Great Spirit above looking down and chuckling at his April Fool's joke on me?
So balance is my adversary. (I had to thesaurus to find that word...enemy just wasn't correct, but adversary..perfect!) I go from one extreme to another. I am so nice and sweet and compliant, too much so, but then I get the ***** of it and say no, I'm done being walked on and I go waaaay to the other end of the spectrum and now I've become very short with people, I'm very blunt and tell it like it is and call people out on things, and I think I may have upset some people or lost friends over it. I try to still be tactful and try not to be mean about it, but again, I struggle with BALANCE!
Ok, another example, a few years ago when I started with SP, I was SO strict with myself and ate 1200 calories a day and exercised an hour a day and had an exercise streak going of I think 100+ days. Again, extreeeeme! I needed balance. Unfortunately, I didn't find the balance, I ended up just stopping both and low and behold gained all the weight back (50 pounds.)
And the last couple weeks I see it happen again. (Darn you, Balance!!!!) I am planning and in the process of getting the gastric bypass done hopefully in May/June. After blood work for this, I was diagnosed diabetic. All the doctors said my numbers need to be "better" for the surgery and I was put on meds and insulin. So I go from eating TONS of fried foods, tator tots with cheese, lots of pasta, cupcakes, just crappity crap crap crap to eating plain fish, plain chicken and veggies coming out my ears. So, basically went from blood sugar numbers around 260 to about 110. EXTREEEEEME! Balance, why do you torment me so?
After about a week of the extreme eating I realized, oh this is NOT gonna work. I was feeling the rebellious me inside kicking and screaming to eat a whole pound of pasta with chocolate cupcakes on the side and I thought, um, no...let's not go there. Oh....maybe I need, um..what's that called? Oh yeah...BALANCE! duh! So, ok, I know that my blood sugar numbers can be on average 180 for them to be "better" and I know that they don't expect me to be on a 1000 calorie diet right now, just to try to make better decisions and choices. So, let's try this balance thing. What if I made 1 serving of wheat pasta? Then I have pasta, I won't have leftovers to tempt me and wheat is a much better option than white. Or, how about my mom having cheesecake (darn her!!!!!) last Sunday for dessert after family dinner...How about 1/2 a slice and add fresh strawberries? yes, that works very well.
So, Balance, you and I have been battling for some time now, and I believe we shall battle more, I'm sure. Probably forever since someone upstairs thinks it's amusing (is this how reality stars feel?)