Friday, March 22, 2013
So, like I said, I reset my page last Sunday. I made a vow to write down EVERYTHING regardless of the damage. It hasn't been pretty, but I still see this as progress because I'm writing it down as opposed to not writing it down. I finished my final paper yesterday, and all I have left to do is turn it in today before 4pm. I haven't been drinking enough water these last few days either, and it is taking a toll on my body. I'm holding water, and I've been waking up with a headache, and my mouth being extra dry. Yeah, it's been that bad. It might be exaggerated just because I know what it's like to be really overweight, but I was starting to get that sloppy 'fat' feeling again. I'm guessing it's my body's way of subtly telling me "look sweetie, I know it's been fun, but you don't want to go down this road again".
On a good note, now that I'm free from the stress of this term (I'll truly feel better when grades come out, but I'm really not that concerned as I'm a good student) I'm going to bring the focus back to me. After I turn my paper in this morning, I'm going to hit the gym. I haven't been in like 4 days. That's not say I haven't exercised though. I've been walking at least a mile a day going to school or the library or the market.
I'm not mad at myself like I usually get when I backslide. Well, let me rephrase that: I'm mad because I was 5 pounds away from losing 100 pounds, and now I'm not. I'm RELIEVED because the damage isn't worse. I usually gain about 20 pounds before I start trying to reverse the damage. Not this time. I'm also relieved because I'm sure part of this weight gain is due to water weight. I know if I start drinking my 13 cups a day again, I'll see a drop and get my true weight.
On another note, for the last two months or so, I had been following a pattern hoping it would help with the loss. I'll go to the gym for about 3 weeks really hard, 5-6 days a week, then I'll take a week off, and then hit it hard again. Unintentionally, I followed that pattern again. This being the week off.
I want to get my body geared up for that 5k next month. I'm really excited about it.
I also want to get lifting again. I have been doing long reps and low weights, but I'm thinking about switching it up to high weights and low reps. My ultimate health goal is to get to that point right after "fit", but right before "buff". I want muscle tone and abs, but I don't want to look like a competitor. Being 5'10", I'm not going for that whole "Amazon woman" look. I already struggle with feeling feminine at this height and being as overweight as I was (with absolutely NO chest to show for it) didn't help at all. Actually, that's probably a good thing because jogging would be a LOT tougher if I had been more gifted up top.
Anyway, goal for today is to drink at least 8 cups of water, write down all food intake, and get to the gym for at least 30 minutes. I'm excited about this again. More importantly, I'm excited about ME again.