Friday, March 22, 2013
I am dealing with the remains of the day, for my sisters life. Due to good fortune of my life, (I almost died at 14, in fact, should have died) I have always seemed more comfortable with the idea that life and death are not very far apart on the continuum of existence. I have had a sense of my own mortality since my early teens and therefore a sense of everyone’s mortality.
It is sad to say farewell, but it is all part of the journey. I was able to help make Debi’s transition easier for her, and in some ways for her girls and my siblings and that is enough.
I wrote a blog, just before she died on Living and Dying. It was just a few thoughts on the experience of the last few months. I was greatly surprised by the response of my spark community. I was truly touched by the kindness of people I have interacted with directly and also people who were more remote, who somehow or other stumbled on to my blog and stopped by long enough to make a comment, say a prayer or whatever else fit into their experience with respect to bereavement.
I would love to thank each of you personally, but I know that I will be busy with closing up my sisters affairs and that this will likely involve me for a few months yet, and by the time it is all done and I have extra energy I may not get to a personal not to each of you. So I will say a general thank you, and will also tell the larger community what a fine community we have. Many who hardly know me took time to provide a gentle hug, to shed a tear, to say a prayer.
For me this community served as a reminder that there are many who we hardly know but who are there. Metaphorically this is a reminder that while my sister is not easily present it may well be she is still there, just waiting in the wings; not unlike many who took the time to touch me with their kindness over last few days. Our faith is for things hoped for, for things that we have only seen in part. The many sparks friends who stopped by and provided an act of kindness reminded me of the fact that there are so many support out there many of which we do not see, do not feel
Paul said, “I see through a mirror but darkly, then face to face.”
This has always been my consolation about right religion and faith, a mirror was a polished stone or bronze and did not cast an image like our modern mirrors do. It always reminds me when I think I am right about matters of the soul, that I only have a vague notion of what is there and what is important.
My sister is gone from me, but she no longer sees through the mirror, she sees face to face. I suspect she laughs had how much of it we got wrong, how much bigger, better and more godly God is; how little we truly understood the eternal from the mortal side of things.
Again, thank you one and all for your thoughts, prayers and kindness