Thursday, March 21, 2013
okay, I'm in extreme pain yet again! I took a shower and thought by the time I got out that I'd feel a little relief , but little did I know thats was when it started snowing heavy ( I was already feeling like crap when I went in there and thought if the hot water hit my muscles it might help even a little) and I came out barely able to stand and had to have my husband help me dress and help me to the chair to immediately apply heat to my neck, icy hot to my neck and upper back , then take motrin and tylenol 3 and apply ice to my right had as it felt as if it was going to break. It's so depressing watching my hubby and son get all nerved up because I can even function because of the amount of pain I'm in and I'm in need of their help and just seeing them run around like two chickens with their heads cut off , nothing I ever wanted my son to see his mom so vulnerable and weak.
I just started crying as I sat in the chair watching each flake hit the ground ( I was looking towards the kitchen window as all the shades were shut in the living room) was like it was pounding against every muscle in my body and it's so depressing to constantly be in pain , this is no kind of life to live.
My husband and son were going into help mode doing all kinds of things to help me be in less pain, but really there's not much anyone can do for me.
I had to lay back on the recliner with my sunglasses on and we were in darkness (always have to have the shades shut) they both kept asking if I was okay, what I really wanted was to go to the hospital yes it was that bad, but people really dont understand lyme or fibromyalgia and I felt like they probably wouldn't believe the amount of pain I'm in, because no one but my husband and son who see it on a daily basis seem to believe.
My dad called today and said to my husband I called her yesterday and she never called me back , he told him well she's been in a lot of pain and then my dad changed the subject and asked how my son was and THE DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If i was the dog I'd get asked about but since I'm not well then I must not be in as much pain as I say (that's what he must think that I just don't want to see him, when in fact I can't and I'm not pushing myself to go see him , when he degrades me and is ungrateful for the things I do out of love and in pain for him).
I'm praying god makes tomorrow less painful for me, honestly can't take this anymore!