Thursday, March 21, 2013
I was sitting back the other day pondering what or who I would be like if I had never been overweight…
I know a lot of people here were not always over weight they gained weight over time, have you sat back and wondered what if you hadn’t?
For those of us that have always fought being overweight, have you imagined what if you were always skinny, who you would be? Would you be so kind and understanding?
Would you be the same without the powerful lessons that had to be learned through this journey, perhaps something worse than being overweight would have happen to strengthen you.
Would you trade all the sweat, tears, friends, connections, support, victories, smiles, lessons, and persistence (just to name a few) that it took to get where you are now in order to be thin to start with.
For those of you who have lost it all just to gain it all back and are on your second round, know this if you can be a success story you can also be strong enough to be a starting over story.
As I read all the amazing comments my spark family left on my last blog for me I couldn’t help an overwhelming feeling of love and relation, here were many people from all walks of life reaching out to me, identifying with my struggles and encouraging me to push on. Every time I come to a victory over myself I can’t describe the feelings inside, it’s a way better feeling than giving in or giving up, I wouldn’t have learned the things I have now without having gained the weight and having to learn how to lose it, I wouldn’t have been introduced to a family that so much love and support is given to strangers with similar goals, heart aches and accomplishments. So I have to say as much as I would love to put on a way small size of clothing and I will someday I wouldn’t trade what I have been given for what could have been. I wouldn’t trade the strong confident person this journey is molding me into for a pair of size 6 jeans to fit from the get go. I didn’t always feel this way of course at the beginning I would have said I would totally rather been skinny all my life and not dealt with the heart aches and my inner demons I have had to overcome and still have to fight.
Maybe it’s a weird way of thinking but many people who often have something traumatic like a near death experience makes them appreciate living more, just like people who have lost a loved one tend to not take their remaining loved ones for granted, I sit here feeling like this has been hard probably the hardest battle I will fight in my life but every week I am finding victory in loss, I’m learning I will fall but I also will always get up and try again and just keep moving forward. I’ve learned I am not alone in my food addiction which has allowed me to push past it so many times so far and to learn I need to eat to live not live to eat.
Just some “food” for thought ;0)
You all are my heroes!