Thursday, March 21, 2013
It's easy to act the victim when you're fat. It's just too simple to turn other people's motivation and helpful advice into excuses. I do it all the time, and that's why(or at least a big reason) I'm still fat.
I know that a lot of people have emotional baggage that they deal with when trying to lose weight. It's necessary to overcome these mental barriers to become the new you. If I have one, which I'm not exactly sure I do, it would be playing the victim.
I wanted the pity, I wanted people to think, 'oh it's not her fault, she's doing everything she can', and a lot of them do. I workout 6 days a week, I (as far as most people know) watch what I eat, but I'm still not losing weight, woe is me.
It's the thing that I've been hiding behind for a long time. Pity.
I don't have to commit to the crazy workout schedules and diets if people at least see that I'm making some effort, they'll leave me alone.
Now, right now? I'm pissed off. I'm not sure what changed in my head, but I don't want to be pitied. I don't want people to feel sorry for the fat girl who just can't seem to lose the weight.
I want people to look at me with awe because of what I've accomplished. I want people to ask me HOW? and I want to tell them that I stopped making excuses and TRIED.
I really really tried. I didn't tell people I tried, I quit using words, because in all honesty, they'd lost their value, and I just DID IT.
So I will.