Thursday, March 21, 2013
Last night, I had a weird dream. I dreamed I went to my favorite artisan cookie store, bought a dozen (tiny) cookies, and ate them. I remember in my dream feeling upset and anguished about going off program, but trying to hide the cookies none-the-less so people couldn't tell that I was falling off program.
Food has featured fairly prominently in my dreams for a long, long time. I can't tell you when I had my first dream, but I'll bet it was around the time that I figured out that too much food made me fat. My food dreams usually consist of me eating something I shouldn't and feeling enormously guilty about it afterwards.
One of the things I was pretty sure would happen when I got on board with losing weight was an increase in food dreams. I wasn't eating Dairy Queen burgers for dinner, pizza over the weekend, or cookies; my body and brain would likely start a full-scale war with me and flood me with food dreams.
The only food dream that I can remember in this time is one I had a couple of weeks after starting my weight loss regiment. I can't remember the details, but basically: I was eating something I shouldn't, something that went against my program. I ate it anyway and felt guilty.
I don't have any dream interpretation books, but I don't really need them to figure out what is going on here. I like food; I like unhealthy foods. And sometimes I want to just eat anything I want. But my brain realizes how badly that can go - heck, *I* know how badly it can go! I was the one that was obese after all!
The thing is, while it does bug me to have these dreams, I'd rather have a dream about porking down on cake and cookies than to actually pork down cake and cookies. Dreams are a way of processing the events that occur in my life; my brain is fighting with the desire to eat these things, and my desire to be a healthy individual. But I already know the outcome - I tried to eat what I wanted and ended up unhealthy and unhappy. I'm trying out being healthy and moderation :)