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Food Dreams

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Last night, I had a weird dream. I dreamed I went to my favorite artisan cookie store, bought a dozen (tiny) cookies, and ate them. I remember in my dream feeling upset and anguished about going off program, but trying to hide the cookies none-the-less so people couldn't tell that I was falling off program.

Food has featured fairly prominently in my dreams for a long, long time. I can't tell you when I had my first dream, but I'll bet it was around the time that I figured out that too much food made me fat. My food dreams usually consist of me eating something I shouldn't and feeling enormously guilty about it afterwards.

One of the things I was pretty sure would happen when I got on board with losing weight was an increase in food dreams. I wasn't eating Dairy Queen burgers for dinner, pizza over the weekend, or cookies; my body and brain would likely start a full-scale war with me and flood me with food dreams.

The only food dream that I can remember in this time is one I had a couple of weeks after starting my weight loss regiment. I can't remember the details, but basically: I was eating something I shouldn't, something that went against my program. I ate it anyway and felt guilty.

I don't have any dream interpretation books, but I don't really need them to figure out what is going on here. I like food; I like unhealthy foods. And sometimes I want to just eat anything I want. But my brain realizes how badly that can go - heck, *I* know how badly it can go! I was the one that was obese after all!

The thing is, while it does bug me to have these dreams, I'd rather have a dream about porking down on cake and cookies than to actually pork down cake and cookies. Dreams are a way of processing the events that occur in my life; my brain is fighting with the desire to eat these things, and my desire to be a healthy individual. But I already know the outcome - I tried to eat what I wanted and ended up unhealthy and unhappy. I'm trying out being healthy and moderation :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I always enjoy reading your blogs. When I was very sick several years ago, I was in the hospital on heavy medication. I couldn't eat and had absolutely no appetite, but my brain knew I needed to eat. Pieces of pizza, of all things, floated in my head and I kept having dreams of going to Pizza Hut. It's funny how our minds work. Keep on blogging!
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    1649 days ago
    I hadn't thought of that - that makes a LOT of sense!! I definitely won't let this fear of failure get me; I've made so much progress in the past 4 months!
    1649 days ago
    I second the idea that it's not so much about the food, but a fear of failure -- which is completely natural! We all have self-doubt and worry if we'll accomplish our long-term goals. Just keep plugging away at your mini-goals and you'll be fine emoticon

    And keep blogging! Blogging is as calorie free as your food dreams :)
    1649 days ago
    Hey, look on the bright side, those foods have no calories.

    They sound like "fear of failure" type dreams.
    1650 days ago
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