Thursday, March 21, 2013
This past week I've had a return of an old anxiety.
Why isn't my stomach more flat?
These are my non-scale accomplishments:
-I've come a long way since my 160lbs obese days. The muffin top and side rolls are gone. So relative to then, it is flatter.
- I'm stronger and more capable. When we moved from a 3rd floor apartment to our house, little ole 5' me was hauling 25lb boxes full of books down those stairs like an iron woman.
- I no longer have a fear of stairs or walking farther than I need to. Yesterday I had to go to the county courthouse, and I accidentally climbed a flight of stairs to the wrong entrance. After I finished my business there, I decided to take a stroll around downtown Savannah. I took a few wrong turns, but it was no big deal. Back when I was overweight, I would have freaked out because my feet would be screaming.
- My blood pressure, cholesterol, fasting blood sugar, and triglycerides are no longer borderline metabolic syndrome.
- I am back to my college weight before I became overweight. I fit into my old college pants.
- Even if BMI is flawed, I am in the normal range, which is a psychological lift.
And yet, why isn't my stomach more flat?
I swear my stomach was flatter at this weight before.
I don't think it was because of more 'muscle' when I was 24. Believe me, I was a wimp. My younger self could not keep up with me today. I am stronger and more fit at 38 then I was at 28 by a long mile.
Yes, I know it's genetics and we can't spot train. I'm just ranting at my body. I poke and pinch my stomach and yell, "Why can't I carry the weight in all the right places? Why are you still here? Go away, you!"
It's hard for me to decide how I should structure my goals. After focusing more on my diet this week, I have dropped another pound. But weight is meaningless. I've reached my goal weight. I don't know what weight I would be if I had the body composition I wanted. How do I set a goal if I don't know where it is supposed to be?
After all the problems I had being overweight, I realize this is the equivalent of a dietary first world problem. My old self would moan at me that she would love to have 'my' problems versus her shin splints, low foot arches, and knee pain.
When I wrote my blog a few days ago about being happy enough with my current progress, something changed. Suddenly I wasn't happy with it anymore.
I've achieved my primary goal of better health, but what I want now is better body composition.